Sleep!!!!!!

Can someone please explain how this happy, joyful, content little ray of sunshine turns into a crying, screaming, little terror at bedtime. Sleep is a real problem in the Leffew house right now. This has been going on for quite a period of time now, don't ask me for specifics, because I cannot remember exactly how long..........I guess lack of rest has caused my brain to dwindle. Brock is wanting to be in the bed with Keira and I and I have learned from my past mistake. Never again!!!!!!! Although some nights I have caved simply b/c Keira and Brandon were not sleeping and they need their sleep. Brandon thinks it may be teething or separation anxiety, and I agree, but I am so over it. I had been going in and comforting him by picking him up and then laying him down and standing there with my hand on his back. I then realized that was a mistake also. Last night he went to sleep around 9 and then woke at 11:40 and finally at 1 gave it up. Thankfully Keira was so tired she slept through this. Brandon and I stayed in the living room and vented our frustrations - Kandi " I don't want anymore babies - I am finished" Brandon " What have we done to cause this?" Kandi " I feel like going out the door and running away" Brandon" He is going to cry as long as it takes" Kandi " I could bang my head against the wall" Kandi " I need a drink" I don't drink but I think I could be tempted to ( Just kidding) Kandi " I don't know why I try to go to bed, I should just stay up" Kandi " I dread the nights" At some point Brock begins calling out for "Dora, Dora" As frustrated as we were at this point, we laughed. He must have given up on us and was crying for his woman to save him. He has an obsession with Dora and I think is in love. LOL There is more- but you get the picture. All the while our precious son is crying and repeating "Momma" "Daddy" A part of me wants to cave and go get him and take him to bed, the other part says no, huge mistake. I go back to bed and snuggle beside Keira after Brock finally gives it up. Well 30 minutes later he is crying again. I get up, go hold him, lay him down, still crying, and return to bed. At least Keira won't wake if I am beside her. A few minutes pass and I hear Brandon get up and get him. He dopes him up with orajel and then back to bed. I don't know how long he cried this time, but he did give it up. I wake at 7:30 and go to our bedroom and lay down until Brandon gets out of the shower. We talk and laugh about how hard it is. Brandon is optimistic and encouraging and reassures me this will pass. I on the other hand don't see that happening anytime soon. I am physically and mentally tired. We count our blessings that our kids are healthy and are thankful for many other things that we discussed. We just laugh at the things we say during the night, knowing it is frustration and our way of handling it. I am so thankful that my husband is there to reassure me and encourage me. Even this morning I said "I need to get my tubes tied" Of course Brandon disagress. HA!! However, he did agree with me last night, that we are proabably finished with having anymore babies, unless the Lord sees otherwise. I have been saying I am done this past month or so. Funny, how a few months can change your mind :) This summer I was having baby fever - but that quickly subsided as sleep became less and less. Do I really want to go through all this again? I don't think so - sleep has pushed me over the edge on having another one. Brandon is quick to tell me that I will change my mind when Brock gets older and especially when he goes to pre-school. I am having a hard time imagining that now. LOL Why is sleep so hard? Why must it be learned? WHY???????? Can you tell I am having trouble with sleep. HA!! Well, now that I have vented to you all, have a good day.