Lesson Learned

The past couple of weeks I learned a huge lesson. The reason for this pic of Brock at 2 months old is that I honestly thought I was going to be having baby #3. Complete Shock!! I did not start as scheduled and I am like clockwork, so the waiting game began. I didn't know if I should cry, be upset, be happy about the possibility of another baby. I kept thinking this is not happening, I am on the pill and it is suppose to be 99% effective. What are the chances? A few days go by and still nothing - It should have come on a Tuesday and byt the weekend I am really getting panicky. I took a home pregnancy test and it was negative, so then the research began online. I could be pregnant and it is to early for a test to pick it up and so on......Brandon finally told me to quit looking up stuff. My mind was totally consumed and thoughts running rampant. Brandon was excited about the possibility of this really happening, I wasn't. He wants #3 and I had decided I am finished and do not want anymore. Well, a week later my period came. To my surprise, I almost cried. I was actually disappointed. The day before I had actually began to get excited myself and thinking about all the what if's, etc. Then we decided with the stress of my grandmother passing, it must have thrown my system off. But the Lesson Learned for me was this : No Matter What I Think, I Am Not In Control of Any Situation In My Life. I feel like God was showing me something throught this experience. Once again I had run my mouth and said what I had planned and what was going to happen in my life. Once again, I was so wrong. I kept thinking I am on the pill - this will prevent a baby. Well, God showed me that no matter what I think I can do to alter His plans for my life, it will not work. I am not in control and if it was God's will for us to have another baby, planned by us or not, it can and will happen. Isaiah 55:8 says "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways my Ways" Thank you Lord for another lesson in my life when I thought I ha a plan and was doing what I wanted. Who am I to think I can control this? When God holds our very breaths in His control and I think that I can possibly do something against His plan. I am such a weak, self-centerd individual and the Lord really humbled me again and I had to confess and repent for this. I came to the conclusion that I will let Him take the lead again and try to keep my mouth shut. Ya think I would have learned this lesson by now. The tongue weighs nothing but yet is the hardest thing to hold. So, we may thng we have our lives planned, but honestly we don't. Anything can happen and we hav to be able to let God lead and trust Him. Now I now you all are wanting to know about baby #3, well..............You will just have to wait and see! I am not saying we are trying now but who knows, it is something we are going to have to pray about. Psalm 34:1 I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth