Thanksgiving

I did not take may pictures of our Thanksgiving get togethers. We began the week before with my mom's family and I never took one single picture. Then, the night before Thanksgiving, I only managed a couple pics at the Duncan gathering. Finally, on Thanksgiving day, I did not manage many family pics. I did do a photo shoot with Jenna and Allison, but other than that, not anymore.

We had a great time with all our family and have been blessed beyond measure.

Keira with Big Papaw, she would not look at me!

Being selfish starts early....

Kids............they look and seem so innocent. As my children are growing and we have experienced 5yrs of child-rearing, I have seen first hand just how much we are born sinners. Yes, a term most of us have heard all our lives, but I never really put much thought into it until the past few weeks. However, some folks will argue that we are not born sinners, please, have you ever in your life been around children? Even newborns learn to manipulate their parents to a certain extent. Ask me why I still sleep with my 5yr old every night. She manipulated me from 2 weeks old and it just grew worse. I could not stand her crying and so I held her while she slept and now I am still paying for it. I enabled her to do this. Needless to say, I did not do this the second time around. I learned my lesson! I am seeing behaviors, words, etc. out of my kids that shows me more and more how much we need a Savior. My greatest longing for my kids is that they be saved, that they believe Jesus died for their sins and they grow up loving Him with all their heart, mind, and soul! As a parent, I am learning to lean on Jesus even more as I have been given these 2 gifts from God to raise and train up for Him, not for me or my family, but for God. Parenting has been my biggest challenge and the most rewarding at the same time. I want my kids to be loving, compassionate, slow to anger, extend mercy, and so on.... A prime example of how early being selfish begins occurred last night as Brandon and I helped Keira count the money from her piggy bank. We are going to take it to the bank and I suggested she leave some out to buy a gift from an angel tree. She said "No", she wanted "it all to go to the bank." Then, Brandon tried to talk to her about giving some to the church as an offering, again she responded with a "no." We tried to explain how this money is ultimately not hers, or ours, but God's and that He gave it to her from the start. She wasn't having any of that. I tried to talk to her about helping others, especially ones in need, she didn't care. She wanted it all for herself. I talked about little girls who will not get any gifts for Christmas and so on, still she was cold-hearted and wanted to know if she gave them something, would she get something in return. This opened my eyes to how much I want to show my kids to be givers, not takers. And, I do think we need to begin this now with them. We always do the angel tree and such at Christmas time, but I want them to be givers year round. I want them to see the joy in helping others, the joy in sharing Christ's love, the joy in seeing someone be saved. I pray they will be servants, not takers all the the time. Now more than ever in our culture, I must teach them to be givers. It is so easy to get caught up in the me, me, me syndrome. I see it already in my 3yr old, who wants every single toy that is advertised on tv. Yes, I know this is normal in kids, but I don't want them growing up thinking they should have anything and everything just because they want it. One day I hope they realize how they have been blessed with the family God gave them too, not just materially, but in more important areas. It just saddened me to see and hear Keira's reaction, and made me realize how selfish I am also. I pitch my little adult temper-tantrums when things don't go my way, or I don't get the material things I think I need. I may not react like my daughter, but I do whine or complain, or turn cold. I like to get upset if things don't go the way I planned, which just happened a couple weeks ago, when a day in my week was changed and I had it all set. But, know I can be positive about it and who knows, maybe God set that day aside for me to do something different. Time will tell. It is all depends on my perspective on things. As I am teaching my kids, in turn God is using it to open my eyes to areas in my life that need work. Sometimes, it is as simple as acting on a thought to send cards to people. I yielded to that last week and it didn't take but 5 minutes to write and address 3 cards to some sweet ladies. I could have been selfish and said "I don't have time to do that", but I did it anyway. My goal is to become less selfish and for my kids to see this in me and for them to grow up giving to others and Jesus. Afterall, we have the greatest example in Jesus, who died on the cross, for us. He gave up His life, everything, for us! Amazing love - how can it be that you would die for me?

Life Interruptions

For the past couple months I have attended a bible study called Jonah - Navigating a Life Interrupted, by Priscilla Shirer, whom I love!! When we think of Jonah, we immediately think of him being swallowed by a huge fish and spending 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of that fish. He repents and obeys God. But, there is so much more to this story and how it applies to us in our everyday lives. Jonah did not want to go to the city of Nineveh, a people whom he greatly disliked, and did not want God's mercy to befall on. So, he tried to run......but you can't run from God! I have tried it, have you? This study has helped bring up areas in my life that I am failing miserably in, I know what my weakness are, yet I tend to justify them often. I like to put the blame on something else or find a reason for my shortcomings and why I don't do the right thing in God's eyes. I love God and want to serve Him, but too many times, I want to do it my way and on my terms. Wrong answer, Kandi! I know what and who are the Ninevehs in my life, and it can be an actual place, a person(s), or a task, etc. Just the mention of this Nineveh can send us into an emotional tailspin and we would rather not go, just stay home. And just like Jonah, we can find reasons to keep us home. Sometimes it doesn't make sense what the Lord may be asking me to do, but I don't see the big picture and may never know this side of eternity. But, if I cannot do the "little" things, how can I expect to grow in my walk with Jesus and that He will use me for more ministry opportunities. I have to move away from anger, bitterness, resentment, self-righteousness, and move toward, grace, mercy, compassion, and love. I admit, I am very good at those things. My melancholy temperament can easily take a situation or a person and it becomes bitter, resentment, and so on. I have gotten better with this the past few yrs, but still struggle and things always come up, and always will, because Satan knows my weaknesses and how to use them against me. But, Thank You Lord I can call on You! Jeremiah 1:5 tells us "Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you." It doesn't take God by surprise how I am and how I react to things or people, this is just further evidence of how much I need Him, He doesn't need me, I need Him!! God is Sovereign, God is my Deliverer, God is merciful, God is Righteous! I am nothing without Him. I cannot overcome my weakness, my sinful nature, my fleshly desires, without His saving grace and mercy. I am learning to obey and to look at a LIFE INTERRUPTED BY A HOLY GOD IS A PRIVILEGE. A lot of times, I am looking for the "big" plans in my life. But, you know what, I am realizing that the small, simple acts of obeying are the big plans in my life. I am called to love others, everyone, even if I don't necessarily like that person, I must love them. How hard is that? Well, for me, sometimes even just smiling or talking to someone whom is my Nineveh, is hard. Just like Jonah, I can come up with every justification in the book not to do it. I simply fail! God has been working on me, and I find the more I try to do better in an area of my life, Satan tries even harder to make me fall. I have to then acknowledge that sin, accept God's discipline, ask for forgiveness, and act on God's directions. Easier said than done, when my pride kicks in. 1 John 1:9 says "If we freely admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins and (continuously) cleanse us from all unrighteousness, The Amplified Bible. God has put Himself in you to equip you and empower you to do what you cannot do. I want to have Divine Intervention, not Life Interrupted. It is based on my perspective and how I respond to God leading me and calling me to obey. Our interruptions are all different - it can be an unexpected pregnancy, a troubled marriage, a financial decision and so on......we would like to avoid them, but they will come. The question is.....how will we respond? I pray we yield to God. I am quick to get upset when things don't go my way or how I imagined something to work out on my time table. I can look back at my past now, and see that God's plan is better and everything worked the way it should have. Did I ever imagine myself as a stay at home mom? No way! But, thankfully I followed God's plan in this area of my life and have been extremely blessed. I need to start asking myself the question God asked Jonah in Jonah 4:4 "Doest thou well to be angry?" So much more can be wrote on this and I could go on, but motherhood calls, as I must go pick up my little man from preschool. 2 Timothy 2:21 "So if someone cleanses himself of such behavior, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart, useful fro the Master, prepared for every good work"

Chillin' at home

No school on election day, so Keira decides to have "school" at home. She dressed Brock up and then read to him. He looked so cute in his outfit! I had to take some pics. Keira did not want her picture taken in her gown.....imagine that.

Oct 31, 2010

Brock wore his Lightning McQueen costume to church, he would not be still for pictures. After church, Mamaw and I took Keira to the Disney Princess on Ice Show. It was a great show and she enjoyed it. We had a wonderful afternoon! Brock went to out church's annual Kidz Fest with daddy. We joined them later and the kids had a blast playing on the inflatables and being with their friends. We have been blessed to become good freinds with such wonderful Christian families.

Zoo

Keira and Brock were on Fall Break one week, so we had some fun. We met a friend at Jumpity Jump one day, met the friend the next day at Dollywood. Brandon took off 3 days from work, since he finished a deadline and we took the kids to the zoo. It was a beautiful day and we had a good time! We enjoyed the weekend of family time!!

Kindergarten Open House

We attended open house at Keira's school one evening. Daddy was not able to go with us, as he was finishing up a deadline. Keira was thrilled to show us what she does at school and each center. Brock found some toys to play with, so he was very happy. I am glad that she loves school and is doing so well. Her first report card came home last week and I still can't believe my girl in is school full-time. So proud of her!!

Circus

My aunt gave us some tickets to the Shriner's Circus and Keira decided she did not want to go because of the clowns. Brock was excited about going. So, Grammie and I took him. He got a Lightning McQueen costume that afternoon and wore it the rest of the day, so cute! He wore it 3 days in a row! Brock rode on the elephant and I thought he would want me to ride, but he never asked, so I was okay with that. We had a great evening!

Corn Maze

What a great time we had at the Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch. It was a beautiful evening and daddy got to leave work early to go with us. Papaw and Mamaw came also and we had such fun! The kids loved the mega bouncing pillow, the slides, the little barrel train ride, and the hayride to the patch. Keira had a difficult time choosing a pumpkin as she looked for the "perfect" one. Brock, on the other hand, easy find for him. They couldn't wait to decorate outside with their findings.

I know one thing, if daddy had not gone in the maze with the kids and I, we wouldn't have made it out in 35-40 minutes. He could look at the aerial shot of the maze and decide which path to take after we had answered the questions correctly to get us going down the right path. I was so lost looking at the map!!

First Hiking adventure

Saturday morning we headed to a local state park and took the kids on their first hike. We did one mile and they both loved it. We hope to continue this and get the kids doing more outside activites and this is something we can do the rest of our lives together, Lord willing. We hiked to a waterfall and the kids enjoyed exploring nature. Then, we had a picnic and played in the stream of rocks and water. Due to a lack of rain, not much water was present, but it didn't matter, the kids loved it anyway. Brock is the type of kids that if any, I mean any amount of water is around, he finds a way to get in it. Needless to say, both kids had to change clothes before getting in the vehicle. What a beautiful morning God gave us on this day.

We are enjoying this beautiful cooler weather. Brock loves his briefs and a lot of the time just wants to wear them when we are at home. Too cute!!

Keira flashing her big smile!!

I wanna know how it feels.....

I wanna know how it feels to have - PEACE. Peace, a word we use, a word we know, a word the entire universe wants to experience. But, we will not have or know true peace until Jesus comes to take us home or until He comes back. What a day that will be!! I find myself longing for it more and more. The past few weeks my flesh has been raging war with me, more so than usual, or so it seems. Maybe I have just noticed it more, I don't know. Everyday, every minute, every second, if we think about it, we are battling. It feels like Satan is just flat out attacking me lately. I have had thoughts of "Am I truly saved?" "I say I am saved , but yet I say and do things that are so sinful", or "Look at how selfish I am, I should do more for others" and the questions go on. Thanks Satan for these thoughts, b/c you made me dwell on them and start doubting my salvation. I literally would be on the couch late at night, kids are asleep, hubby still at work, and begin to have anxiety and my mind would race. So, I would start answering the questions and Satan would still push me, throwing crazy thoughts out at me. I could feel my body start stressing, my breathing would get funny and I would feel tightness in my chest. I couldn't take it anymore, and I cried out to my Lord for Peace!!! I know, that I know, that I know that I am saved. As I look over my life I see where I have come and how Jesus has guided me. Because I sure would not be where I am in my life, if it wasn't for Jesus. I would not have the desire to read the Bible everyday and feel like a piece of me is missing when I don't read it. I would not want to pray or believe that God hears me when I pray if I wasn't saved. I would not have the urge to please God, but rather people if I wasn't saved. List goes on......... So, thank you Satan for pushing me closer to Jesus and to lean on Him and not myself. Does this mean my battle is over, far from it. I am constantly learning how weak I am and how much I need my Jesus every day, every minute. I fail miserably. I don't measure up and never will, but thank you God for your mercy and grace, because I could never work enough for it and never will have to try. My flesh fights so hard for me to lose and so many times I give in. The world tells us it is okay to do this or that and to say this or that. I stumble everyday. I am talking the little things in life, or what we perceive to be "little", but sin is sin. It can be as "little" as not smiling at someone or acknowleding them, and I am so guilty of this. I can make excuses and do, but so guilty. My flesh wins often in this area. Then I have to ask for God's help and help me. Satan tells us to get revenge or we will show them up, we won't talk to them, that will really hurt them. Satan sits back and watches and laughs. Who is the one hurt in this? The other person? Nope. I have even let someone taking me off their friend list on facebook bother me and my first thought is "I will show them, next time I see them" then I think how silly is that. They are not "friends", they are more like aquaintances. These minor disturbances can lead to bigger problems in life. I could list many, many , many minor things in life but won't. You get the idea. None of this matters in the big picture. None of it. So, then our focus needs to stay on Jesus and heavenly matters, not earthly. I realized to this morning that it has taken me almost 33 yrs to have this contentment in my life. I am content with my life and so thankful to Jesus for all He has blessed me with. I have finally come to a place in my life that I can honestly say that I don't care what others think of me or how I am living. I only have to answer to God, not man. People can talk and will talk about others and what they are doing or not doing. I use to feel like I had to keep up with other families. I went through a phase that I felt like we needed to move to a bigger home in "the" neighborhood, possibly even in another city. Deep down, I knew this was wrong. Brandon was ready to move to another city, all I had to say was "let's go." Which makes sense for us, since he works in Knoxville and he claims I am in Knoxville at least 4 days a week. HA!! But, a part of me felt like we needed the big house with all the amenities. But, I laid it all down and that soon passed. When you put your prioritites in place, none of the material stuff matters. Did I want to go back to work just to have a bigger house? No way!! Like the hubby said, "would it matter if we had a 10,000 sq. ft house?, we would all still be in the same room on top of each other." You know what, he is right. I like having my family close by and wouldn't trade those moments. I am content with our life and the choices we make, as hard as it is at times. I have learned I don't have to have an LV bag or Gucci or whatever the latest trend is in fashion. I admit I like having this stuff and occasionally the hubby spoils me with things, but you know what, after awhile the newness and luster wears off, and then it is on to the next trend. I find myself wearing the same things over and over and you know, it is okay. Aren't you glad Jesus is not a trend and that He nevers gets old or out of date or out of style. I sure am. When you let Jesus be your contentment, all the things of this world take on a different meaning. I will end my post with this song I heard while running this morning : Sometimes I get weary from this life that I live It seems that peace is something I'll never find I try to lighten my load when all that I've got to show is seven hundred things on my mind Well, I'm seeing visions of a crystal clear river where sin's forgotten without a trace More than I've ever dreamed my eyes long to see the look of love on my Savior's face I want to know how it feels To make my way down the streets of gold I want to know how it feels To have a talk with the saints of old I want to know what it's like To rest my feet by the River of Life I've heard of heaven and I know that it's real I want to know how it feels I want to know how it feels!!!!!!!

School Update

Keira is loving kindergarten, even if it is making her tired. But, mommy likes the early bedtimes. Even though she has made new friends, one of the highlights of her days, is playing with her best friend Alyssa, who is in first grade at recess every day. She always talks about this. She still thinks boys are "yucky and gross", but when she was paired with Bo, I have known his mom most of my life, she didn't seem to think he was yucky. She really liked him :) Keira loves her calss, loves PE, music, and pretty much all the specialty subject classes. She eats in the cafeteria every now and then, but takes her lunch moajority of the time. I use to put notes in her lunchbox until she asked me to stop doing that. Guess it embarrased her! The other afternoon I went to our parent-teacher meeting and was surprised at how well she did on testing. I didn't know what I was expecting, but it just kinda shocked me a little how well she did. I know she is bright, but just didn't expect that. Thank goodness she seems to be taking after daddy in her academics. I did good in school, but daddy is the brain in this family. I was told she likes to talk, which was very surprising. Now, if it had been Brock, and I was told this by his teacher, no shock. But, her talking is not a big problem or disruption, and the teacher can "give her a look" as she told me and she gets the message. Guess she is use to the "look" she gets from me. Overall, a very good report and I pray she continues to do well. We are pleased with her teacher, who is on top of everything, and keeps us posted as parents to classroom happenings and what the kids are learning. I like that she is firm with the kids and they have structure and routines. I am a firm believer that kids thrive on structure and routines. Kids want and need this in their lives for many reasons. It is still hard for me some days to grasp that Keira is really in school every day, all day. I miss her so much and Brock really misses her. I am glad she loves school and so glad we decided to go ahead and send her this year.

My little man is loving preschool. He can't wait to go to "his school" as he says. I love that he likes it. Keira cried for 3 months when I left her at preschool, Brock only 2 days. What a differnece and makes it much easier on me. I had a hard time leaving Keira crying, even though I knew she would be fine. Brock is so funny and the teachers fill me in on the things he says at school. At the beginning of school, we would ask who he played with and he always answered "by myself", it was kinda sad. But, he has made friends now and talks about them more. He especially has taken notice of a girl named Hannah. He tells me he chases her on the playground. He loves his teachers and they are wonderful. Brock's lunch is terrible, just junk food, but that is all he will eat. I keep waiting for him to grow out of this stage and eat a variety of food, but he will not. He doesn't even like mac and cheese, potatoes, barely any chicken, pizza, and the list goes on........

We have been so blessed this school year and I look forward to watching my kids grow and learn new things this year.