Wonderful News!!!

Vandy called Ronnie today and his cancer has shrunk 24%.   Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are so thankful for all the prayers and thoughts.  Please keep them coming!!!!!   Praise the Lord!!    Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet Girl!

I am ready for school!

The ballerina striking a pose! Not sure what this pose is?

Brock thought Keira needed some help

Silly Boy

Brock thought this was so funny! He also thought it was fun to throw the crayons everywhere in this position.

If only daddy was home to see this in person! Little man decided to play beauty shop and I assume he asking the brunette what she would like done. Funny little man!!

Guess she wanted a trim.............. He is very serious about this. LOL

Looking at the mirror and making faces. He cracks me up! It is a whole different world with Brock than it was with Keira at this age.

Praise

Just wanted to let everyone know that Ronnie hasn't been sick all week.  Praise the Lord!  He hasn't felt great at certain times,but hey that is so much better than all the other things that happened with this treatment the first couple times.   Keep praying for him and also remember his upcoming scan next week.  We re praying the cancer has shrunk or better yet - gone!!   All things are possible with God!!  

SNOW!!

We had an errand to run, this is why my kids are not fully dressed for winter, but I let them get out int he snow for a few minutes before loading up the car. They were so thrilled!!

Keira wanted to catch the snow with her tongue and she said it was yummy. Brock trying after watching sissy. Later that afternoon while Brock took a nap, I took Keira back out and we played and had a good time. She especially enjoyed our snowball fight. She wasn't into trying to build a snowman, maybe some other day.

Ballet

We have entered the world of the arts, which mommy knows nothing about. I have no musical, artistic, or dance ability. Keira loves music and dance so I asked her if she would like to do dance or gymnastics and the answer was dance. However, Sunday I mentioned I am going to have to learn how to put her hair up in a bun, which has become an issue with her, she doesn't want a bun at all. She responds that dance is boring and she wants to go back to gymnastics. HA!! We will see what happens saturday morning. I got in trouble last week for taking pictures. Seriously - I got called out by the other teacher and she informed me it is illegal to take pics because other studios may try to copy their choregraphy. I almost laughed at her b/c I am thinking if you are copying 3 and 4yr old choregraphy, especially when I have not seen one student do anything correctly yet, then you got problems. LOL And all this other insurance stuff about posting pics on the internet with other kids in them, etc. Well, I did manage a few pics :)

Keira doing who knows what? Mommy cannot remember the moves - much less the names of them. Does my princess have the ballet figure or what?

Circle time to begin class and stretching Keira and Alyssa started the same day, which was great. Keira is the type that does better if she knows someone else rather than trying a new thing by herself. We also discovered that a little girl from her school is in the class too, she was so excited to see her the first day. I won't mention her name, for insurance purposes. HA!! I will be surprised if Keira wants to stick with this, but she might.

Ronnie Update

Ronnie has gone back to Vandy this morning to meet with his doctor and blood work, etc.  The doctor would like to put him back on the chemo IV treatment, the one that made him so very, very, sick.  He said they would reduce the dosage, etc to help him.   Please pray that this works and he isn't as sick after this, if they decide to go ahead with this treatment.  Haven't heard anything yet.   He also has a scan coming up Jan 26th.   Ronnie has been a trooper during all this, and doesn't complain.  He said he will do what the doctor wants, since he is the specialist.  How many people would endure that again, given the option not to take the treatment?   We all agree the medical team must really believe in  this stuff for them to want him to continue :)  

Specific requests for prayer:

1. Pray that Ronnie doesn't get as sick this time.

2. Pray for the cancer to be gone

3. Pray for safe travel today

4. Pray the doctor makes the correct decisions

5. Pray that the cancer doesn't spread

6. Pray for Sherry as she helps him through this

Thank you all and I will let you know how it goes this week.

Past week

Pictures taken before church last sunday morning.

Although Keira looks unhappy, she wasn't, just wouldn't smile for me. Typical - do opposite whatever mommy says. This past week has flown by for me. I cannot even fathom that tomorrow night my grandmother will have been gone a week. It still seems like yesterday. After the burial service Tuesday morning, we got back into our normal routines. Normal- what does that mean anyway? Wed. I kept the kids home all day, something we needed. We did make it to church that evening. Keira hasn't said much about Mamaw Duncan being gone, just asking "How do we get to heaven?" and other minor things, nothing major. I don't know what I expected from a 3 yr old anyway, I guess....well I don't know. Thursday, Keira went back to school, she was thrilled! Couldn't wait to see her friends. I took Brock and went to my grandfather's house. It just feels so odd without walking in the door and not seeing my mamaw. It feels so empty, I understand why it would be hard to be alone for my grandfather right now. I almost cry stepping through the door, especially when I saw the ramp had been taken down. Thursday I received a text that a guy I graduated with had passed away. What? He is 31-32 yrs old, my age. What? Now that hits home. Then, my other grandmother is put into the hospital, she isn't doing great and has fallen 3 times this past week and once required 5-6 staples in her head. I began to realize I have the potential to go from having 3 grandparents to zero. Not that anyone can put a timetable on life, but that this could happen the way things are looking. When things like this happen, it causes you to step back and re-evaluate life and what we are using ours for. Am I being the best wife and mother I can? Do I complain too much? Am I thankful enough for what we have? Do I try to help others? and on and on I can go. The big questions that always stick out to me are : Am I trying to follow the Lord with all my heart, soul, and mind? Am I teaching my kids about Jesus? These 2 questions should be at the top of my list everyday. The most important thing in my life should be these 2 - More than anything my children's salvation should be priority - not how smart they are, not how cute I can dress them, not how good they will be at sports, not what school they will attend, if they don't have Jesus, then nothing else matters. Nothing. Nothing. Without Him, where would I be. Everything will fall in place if we are Saved. I should quit worrying about if my kids will get a good education in a public school and worry more about showing them who the ultimate Teacher is. Our preacher has been doing a series on 1 Peter 1, we are currently in the first few verses. Wow!! As believers, we have joy in trials - yes, JOY, read it and see for yourself. The trials and times we face here on earth are short and will pass, our reward is eternal, our hope is in Jesus and what He did on the cross. He took every sin, not just a few, but every single sin, for every single person that is elect. And we think we endure trials ? He was the ultimate sacrifice, bore the pain and shame of my sins, and yet I want to complain about minor things in my life. My wicked, ungrateful, prideful, heart is so dirty. Sin is so ugly and yet I have been given a clean slate by Jesus. May our trials bring us closer to Him and let us praise Him during these times, not just when things are going good, but in the bad times. As a Casting Crowns song says " I will praise You in this storm, I will lift my hands" Thank you Lord for your mercy and grace.

The fight is over.......

I went to bed after 10 last night and at 10:45 Brandon came into the room, I must have already dozed off b/c I am thinking what is he doing? since I had not heard the phone ring. He said "Can you talk to your dad?" Well, then I knew what was going on. I wanted to say "No", "I don't want to hear that mamaw is gone, that I will not see her tomorrow" A lump came to my throat and I took the phone and walked to the living room. I could barely speak - my dad was even worse, it was all he could do to get it out and then he asks me to call my brother. Her battle is over - our battle is just beginning. My thoughts went to my grandfather - Had they told him yet? Would they let him rest through the night and tell him in the morning? I couldn't sleep, I stayed up awhile and then went back to bed. Still sleep wouldn't come, only the tears. My mind was racing and thoughts of mamaw and papaw consumed me. My grandfather wanted to be there when she went- he felt strongly about that, what will this do to him, I wondered? Death is such a hard thing to watch, and you cannot be prepared even when you think you are. I am so glad I was able to spend 4 hours at the hospital yesterday afternoon with her. My brother and I went over at noon and she was sleeping. She awoke and stayed awake quite some time. Trying to talk to us and we would stroke her hair and tell her to rest and that we loved her. My grandfather was the only other one present at this time and we alternated turns sitting and holding her hand. As my grandfather sat and held her hand, I sat back and observed. 60 something yrs of marriage was coming to an end. How sad!! He sang "Amazing Grace" to her and talked and talked. He told her she had led him to Christ and got him going to church. That he would see her again in heaven. He told her how much he loved her. He told her that her babies are here (my brother and I) What a sight to behold! I sat and prayed for the Lord to please take her home, to end her suffering, to end this pain. But, last night I selfishly wanted to take back that prayer, please let her stay one more day, let my grandfather have more time, etc. Selfish, selfish. My head knows she is better off, but my heart doesn't want to let her go. She went back to sleep after papaw calmed her and then I got to hold her hand. Papaw sat down and I said" Why don't you take a nap, we aren't going anywhere" Of course he replies"No, I can't sleep" It wasn't much longer that my brother looked and papaw was out. He is so tired!! I sat trying to take in every detail of my mamaws' hands and face. Her hands are so smooth and soft, red polish has faded away, her grip isn't as tight, and her hands are beginning to feel cold. Haven't noticed that this week before. If I moved my hand slightly, she would tighten up some. I studied her beustiful face - to be 82, 2 months shy of 83, she sure doesn't have wrinkles. She has smooth cheeks, a smooth forehead, no wrinkles on them at all. I hope I take after her :) The only lines I see are a few around her eyes, nothing big, just some fine lines. Beautiful!! My sweet grandmother! I love you! when she woke up, I would talk to her and tell her how much I love her, to rest, and that it's okay. She would drift back to sleep. I eventually let my brother have my seat, I didn't want to - I never wanted to let go of that hand, a part of me actually thougth about crawling up in the bed to hold her, or was it that I wanted her to hold me and tell me it wa okay, she was ready to see Jesus. I don't know, I just know no matter what, death is not easy. Blogging must be some kind of outlet for me, it always helps to write things out. I coud write and write this morning, but won't go continue. Please lift my family up in prayer, especially my grandfather. Love to you all!!!

Song

The song I have playing currently reminds me of my grandparents and there lifetime together. My cousin told me to listen to it and glad I did. My grandfather can still recall the details of when he first met my grandmother and so many other things - small things but oh the joy in his face as he shares the stories. So heres to you Big Papaw and Mamaw Duncan for a lifetime of love and memories.

Grandmother

Thank you all for your prayers and concerns this past week. My grandmother is slowly getting worse and the pain meds are hleping her rest better. She is sleeping majority of the time, but still likes to hold our hands. There is not too many minutes that go by that someone isn't holding her sweet hand. I did notice yesterday afternoon her grip wasn't as strong. I know the Lord will take her when the time is right, but it is so hard to watch this process. It consumes my thoughts most of the day. My grandfather told her the other day that it was okay to not fight anymore, that he was letting her go. So hard for him!!! We sat the other day and he was talking about how empty the house is when he goes at night. My dad and his siblings make him go home at night and they rotate spending the nights. She is never left alone. Please prayer for my grandfather as he will face difficult days ahead. I pray that he doesn't get depressed and that our family can rally around him. I haven't been to their house since she has been in the hospital, but I am sure it will be difficult walking in that first time w/o her sweet face to see. I am okay with the fact that she will be leaving this world soon, knowing that one day I will see her again. But my heart still hearts for the time being.

Having an older sis means.....

You get to dress up like she does! Brock loves to do what sissy does and anytime the dress-up clothes come out, his clothes come off and the pink goes on. It is so funny!! I wish I had a pic of him in just one of the skirts, that is hilarious. He runs around with the skirt doing whatever, jumping, climbing - which I think he has learned it is hard to climb in a skirt. They crack me up!!

She was doing a cheer!!

I was getting ready one day and he goes into the closet and comes out with these shoes. I said "Go show Daddy" He walks (as bet a boy can in heels) and shows Brandon, and all I hear is "Son, what are you doing?" "Get those off" I just laugh and laugh.

Prayer Request

I ask for prayer from my blogging buddies tonight and in the days ahead. My sweet 82 yr old. grandmother was taken to the hospital this past sunday and today the family was told to come in. Her battle with alzheimer's is slowly coming to an end after about 12 yrs now. The doctor says it could be 1 day to a week, only God knows. I just ask for prayer that this precious lady not endure anymore suffering than she already has. I thought I was prepared for this day, but no matter the situation, you cannot prepare for this. I walked into the hospital, thinking she would be peacefully asleep, I was so wrong. She has fluid building up in her lungs and is so weak that she cannot cough to help, nor can she talk, try as she may, she can't do it. She grasps our hands tightly and doesn't want to let go. I wanted to tell her " It's okay, you don't have to fight it anymore". Even suctioning only helps for a small amount of time, then it gets worse. I couldn't hold back the tears watching her struggle to breath and trying to clear her throat and on top of that trying to speak. I just kept praying that the Lord would end this battle for her, no matter how much of my heart is not wanting her to go, I don't want to see the suffering any longer. She has truly been a fighter through this terrible disease. Please pray for my grandfather as he is losing his wife of over 60 something yrs, I cannot think right now the correct yrs. He has demonstrated to our family what a marriage should be till the end. It is just breaking his heart to watch this process and it breaks mine even more to watch him. Someone said the other day " It is not how you start out in a marriage, it is how you end it" I believe this to be true. I have sat today and cried watching my grandfather stroke mamaw's hair and tell her how much he loves her, how beautiful she is, how pretty her blue eyes are, and so on. I wish just once she could get out what she is trying to say. I wanted to tell papaw that I think she is telling him how much she loves him and for taking such great care of her at their home these last yrs. He has been her comfort, her security, her strength. She was reaching for him when he got out of her sight and pointing up at him. He knows the time has come and will let go so she doesn't suffer any more. He kept saying tonight " Why did the Lord let her go through this, she is such a good person" I wanted to reach out so bad and tell him, "It isn't like that, we suffer in this life because of sin and our downfall, it has nothing to do with our goodness, none of us are "good" in God's eyes" Only b/c of His mercy and grace are we saved. But, he can't hear good, and it wasn't the time or place. I have the assurance that both my grandparents are saved and I will see her again. I find comfort in knowing she will be with Jesus soon, we can envy that can't we ( to an extent anyway) ? No more tears, no more pain, her body will be new and her memory restored. Thank You Jesus!! That doesn't mean it doesn't help right now. I did get to hear how my grandmother helped lead my papaw to Christ. As she was being tended to, we (papaw, my brother, and myself) had to step out of the room. Sitting in the hallway, our conversation turned to the Lord. My grandfather was saved at 24yrs old after already fighting in WWII and being married. My grandmother went to church by herself and some others started questioning about her husband. He said " I am going to chuch to show them you do have a husband, and the rest is history" My grandfather was a bit of a rounder in his early days, and my grandmother turned that around. I got to hear some other things too. I am grateful for the time we had tonight, just us, in the hallway. My grandmother is the sweetest lady I know. I have been blessed for 31 yrs to have her in my life. Never, ever, have I heard her say a bad word about anyone and she didn't like it when others talked bad about people. How many of us can say that we have never downed anyone? Not me, I am so guilty of that and should be on my knees more for that. I have so many wonderful memories of her - I want share them, but you get the picture. She is a crafty, gifted, artsy, lady. She could sew and make anything. I regret I never took the time to learn this from her. I would give anything now to go back and learn to sew with her. She is a doll collector and loved it! She has tons of dolls in her house and even passed some on to me over the yrs. She is very fashionable, always perfectly dressed and coordinated. She loves her 4 children, 8 grandchildren, and 3 great-grandchildren more than anything. She is the best wife, mother, and grandmother any family would want. I Thank God for allowing me to be hers. My grandfather still tells of how I cried to stay with them and especially over night and I have fond memories of my overnight visits or anytime at their house. I slept in the bed with my grandmother, and boy did I think she was it. I still do!! So, as her time on earth is coming to an end, if you think about it please pray for my family, as it will be extremely difficult for us to go through this time. Please lift up my grandfather - this will be so hard on him. He even told me tonight that he still reaches over in their bed for her at night thinking she is laying there. You see, she has been in a hospital bed in the living room for quite sometime now, and he gets up during the night to go check on her. It is hard to see a love story come to an end, but it is a great one and one with many memories to share and talk about as the yrs go on.