Here am I.

I am currently in the book of Isaiah in my Bible reading and earlier this week, I was reading Chapter 6 and verse 8 has stuck with me all week. Isaiah hears the voice of the Lord say "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" Isaiah replies " Here am I. Send me!" 5 tiny words, yet so strong. These words have been stuck in my thoughts all week. I picture Isaiah with his arms stretched toward heaven, head bowed, possibly even on his knees, saying this. Because in no way are any of us worthy of this position, but only by God's mercy and by His authority can we be called into service. I have wondered all week if I could say these words and truly mean them with all my heart. I know in the past in my prayer time I have prayed this, but was I just speaking words without much meaning. Was I ready for this kind of service and devotion to my Lord, or was I being more like a Pharisee and only showing outward signs of doing the "right" thing to make myself believe I was doing good. I know the truth and it has been obvious in my life that I was just speaking words. Isaiah was not being self-righteous at all, he was admitting even though he knew he was unworthy and not "good" enough to have success on his own, if he turned it over completely to God, there would be success if God allowed. Not through Isaiah, but only through God. I can look back the past few years and see so many times that the Lord was leading me to do something and I failed or said "No, I cannot do that, that is so out of character for me" Normally, when I heard this verse before, I use to think more along the lines of a missionary position or some role that seemed out of reach for my abilities, I always had a reason or excuse to give God. But this week, as this verse has been in my head, I have begun to see I was so off the mark in my thinking. This verse applies to my daily life. I need to say these words every day and truly mean them, letting go of my will and follow His will. I have to remind my hard-head at times, that I have no control over anything and no matter what I plan, it won't change what God has planned in my life. I am learning that just having a thought of sending a card, visiting people, or simply when someone comes to mind that I should pray for them, that this is a part of how God is usuing me daily. It may not seem big, but possibly for that person who the Lord laid on my heart, it could be. I need to continue to be willing to serve and rely on myself. No, my mission is nothing like Isaiah's in a sense, but the elect have their own missions which God has appointed us. How humbling it is to think that "I am a sinner saved by grace" no one or nothing else can save my unworthy, undeserving, fleshly self, but the blood of Jesus. So, my goal each day should be to have the eagerness and willingness to ask God " Here am I. Send me" even though I do not deserve a drop of grace.