Another loss

We are experiencing our 2nd loss of a baby.  I miscarried in January and have now lost our 2nd baby.  That was one of the worst feelings in my life when I looked at the ultrasound and saw no heartbeat.  I thought I was 8-9 wks along on our second ultrasound, but the baby was only measuring at 6 wks.  The dr. said we could wait another week and we both wanted to wait.  We could not go ahead with a d&c without being 100% certain that this baby was gone.  So, we waited another week and on Monday we did another ultrasound and no heartbeat and that baby had stopped growing.  I was just heartbroken.  A part of me went in expecting to see a heartbeat and a part of me knew that this was the end.  I know and believe God could have changed this outcome, but obviously this was not His plan.  I looked at Brandon when the ultrasound tech left and all I could say was, "I can't believe this is happening again."  We talked to the dr. and decided to do the d&c, scheduled a week away, b/c I wanted to go to Keira's little art show at school and we have dance , etc.  But, I wish I had gone ahead and had it done yesterday morning, instead of waiting a week.  We told the kids the baby has gone to heaven, they are fine, as kids just have that way about them.  They have asked questions the past couple days, like "why did you lose the baby", etc.  The only answer I can give them is that God said it was time for that baby to go to heaven.  They want to know if we will see that baby and yes, we will one day.  Keira asked me last night if God was going to give us back the baby.  I had to tell her "No."  I go from being ok to just wanting to cry my eyes out.  If I was able to run, I think I would run until I just couldn't anymore.  At times, I want to hit something, scream, or just crawl in bed and not get out.  I don't know how I would have responded if I was not already blessed with Keira and Brock, it would be easy to become depressed. But, thankfully I know and trust that this is God's plan, not mine.  I trust that He will get glory out of our loss.  I don't understand it and never will this side of eternity.  I do praise Him for allowing me to have the opportunity to have these 2 other babies, if only for a short time.  Even though I feel like a piece of my heart has been taken, I can rejoice knowing they are with Jesus and as my sweet hubby prayed as we got in the car, after leaving the dr. that they will never suffer, never experience anything but joy, no tears, no hurt, no suffering in this world.  Brandon prayed exactly how we both feel, even though I could hardly get words out at that time due to crying. 
I do realize people go thru much more suffering than we are currently and my thoughts always go to my friends who have lost children of their own, not thru a miscarriage, but actually having that child in your life and that blessing goes on to heaven.  Doesn't matter if they were 3 months old, or in their 20's, I only have experienced a glimpse of what parents go thru in that type of loss. My heart goes to them.
My hurts will heal with time and I hope other women who experience a miscarriage can find comfort, hope, peace, and love in Jesus.