Bath Time Fun!

After an afternoon of playing at Papaw and Mamaw's the kids needed a bublle bath. They had a ball in the tub with bubbles up to their heads. The sound of laughter filled the air - not much better sounds than hearing my kids giggling.

I used my new point and shoot camera to take these and the pics of hubby's birthday and I learned I have been spoiled by my DSLR. I wanted a small camera to carry around, especially when you are doing activites with the kids and it is hard to juggle them and a big camera. But, it works good, just use to the better quality of the other camera.

Happy 34th Birthday, Daddy!!

Since the hubby's birthday is on Feb.22, we usually celebrate the weekend before or after, just depending on what day it falls. Tax season is in full swing and we have to plan accordingly. The kids picked out a cake, nope, I am not a baker, wish I was! We had a birthday dinner after church and had cake and dessert. The kids love a party! They don't understand why adults normally don't have parties like kids. Maybe next yr, the hubby and I should have a birthday party for us at some kid establishment and really blow their minds. We had a wonderful day and great family time! The kids picked out pin the tail on the donkey game and those party poppers for outside use. Happy Birthday, Daddy!! We love you!!!

Sleep

Awwww......so sweet to look at sleeping children. They seem so innocent when they sleep, how quickly that fades as soon as they wake and get moving. HA!! Brock is my early riser, I am talking anywhere from 5-6:30 a.m. every morning. Granted, he goes to bed between 7-7:30 most nights, but he is my early bird. Normally, I get up and get him chocolate milk and he watches t.v. I go get back in bed with Keira, b/c she is no early bird and we need Ms. Congeniality to get as much sleep as possible. It isn't long before he comes to her room and climbs in bed with us. I am sandwiched in between them both and can hardly move. Sometimes, he goes to sleep, most times he doesn't. He sweetly looks at me and says, " You like to snuggle with your babies, don't you mom?" Melts my heart! I am so thankful I don't have a job to get up and get ready for each morning and I get to enjoy these precious moments every morning with them.

January 21, 2011

First of all, I am not writing this for sympathy or any responses. I wanted to write on this subject in case someone else experiences this and stumbles upon my blog, maybe I can help you in some way, maybe not. On January 21, I suffered a miscarriage. I have never went from such an extreme high to such a low in my life. I was the type who had previously thought that a miscarriage would not be that emotional or painful, especially in the first trimester. I was wrong! It happened early Friday morning and I knew I had lost the baby. I called the dr. as soon as they opened that mornng. I carried on about my day, just numb, absolutely numb, not wanting to believe that I had lost a baby just a few hours ago. I had no major issues with my other 2 babies and never imagined this would happen to me. I knew it was possible, but just thought it really would not happen to me. I dropped Brock off at the grandparents house, as it was my morning to volunteer at Keira's school. I put on my best face for those kids and my dr. called and wanted me to come in and do bloodwork. So, that afternoon I went. I was told I would have to come back Monday and do more. I did not like the waiting part - I wanted an answer right then. Deep down, I knew the answer. Friday evening we had planned a girls outing to dinner and a movie with Keira, while Brock attended the monster truck show with daddy and papaw. Again, I put on my best face and went along for my Keira. This was her night and she was so excited, as much as I just wanted to stay home and cry, I couldn't. My sweet hubby did not give up hope all weekend and even on Sunday baby names were mentioned. He was talking about putting the house on the market this spring and how I will need a mini-van, etc. Bless him! He was so happy about #3 and then it turned to sadness. I went back Monday and she told me I had lost it. I did my best not to break down in the lab. I had Brock with me, and did not want to explain why I was crying. I held it together. All weekend I tried my best not to break down, I tend to internalize things, especially something on this level. Don't get me worng, I was crying, but never just let it all out crying. I felt so empty inside, like a part of me was missing. Friday afternoon, I told God how sorry I was because back in Dec. I had said I did not want anymore kids, but when I found out I was preggo, I was thrilled. I did want this baby. I never asked why this happened, I know God is in control and His will is being done. I just felt so guilty for ever saying those words. My heart broke. Even though I will never know this child this side of eternity, I will get to meet him or her one day. Once you experience this loss, you don't want anyone else to have to go thru it. I spent the following week just down and out, not wanting to go anywhere, just sad. It is okay to grieve for that baby, no matter how far along you were. One thing I recommend is to talk to other women, especially if you have friends who have gone thru this before. They are a tremendous help. I have a friend who lost her 3 month old, and he was also a twin, and she had lost his twin early on. I told her I cannot imagine what she felt and experienced losing her 3 month old, I only got a glimpse of what she has had to deal with. I did not broadcast the miscarriage, only family and close friends knew. Someone told me to blog about it, and at first I thought no, to private for me to share with the world. But, then I thought if I could help someone else out, why hold back. I just want you to know it is okay to be sad, to be down, to grieve. My sweet friend told me I should not feel guilty for saying I did not want another baby back in dec. that was just Satan trying to get to me and use that against me. She was right! Some people will say things like, "Well, at least it was early on" or "You can try again", and so on. They mean well, but not exactly what you want to hear, because you wanted THAT baby, not another one. Just say your sorry and love that person, that will do them more than anything. It is hard to respond to those statements, or it was for me. If you are a Christian, you believe and hold onto your faith in Jesus, that this happened for a reason and God will get glory somehow, someway. If you are not a Christian, I encourage you to look at Scripture in the Bible and turn to the one and only Holy God. Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Psalms 18 :16-19 He sent from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, But the Lord was my stay. He brought me forth also into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me. How awesome is that? God will rescue us, b/c he delights in us. No matter what trial or "storm" you are in in life, please know that Jesus can rescue you and set you free from that and all sin in your life. He has done this for me. And I can honestly say I would have sank into a depression after this miscarriage, given my personality and being an introvert. Only b/c I have been saved from my sinful nature is this possible. This doesn't mean the road is easy once you are saved, in any area of life, but you will have a Redeemer on your side. I have had my moments since I miscarried, when something is said or I see a pregnant woman and so on, that reminds me of my loss and I think about what could have been...............but I also have my Jesus, which surpasses any loss in this world. I will see my baby again, but for now he or she is with Jesus and praising Him.

The Road of Parenthood

As my children are growing, I realize how parenting is/will be my hardest job ever. Don't get me wrong, or take that statement in the wrong way. I love being a mommy and all the things that go with this role. Good and bad! I guess my eyes were opened to how easily my children could be swayed by others and turn in a different direction than what my hubby and I are trying to teach them and instill in them as they grow. Keira told me the other day what she learned in school - that humans are animals (mammals), etc. I understand what the lesson was covering, but what got me was when she tells me that "we had whiskers" and something about the "dots on our hands." Granted some old ladies have whiskers, I will give her that, but I said we are not animals in the sense she was referring to. In her little mind, she was referring to animals , like dogs and cats, etc. As we are discussing this further, she informs me that it is true b/c "my teacher said so." I got a dose of just how much influence a teacher , a coach, anyone for that matter could have over my kids. For the record, I am not bashing Keira's teacher. I think she does a wonderful job! It just showed me how much influence someone can have on my kids. I realized how as my kids get older and they may be around people who believe in evolution or don't beleive in God, could say things, re-word things, etc that could sway my kids from the truth. So, we must equip our kids with the truth of God's word. I had the talk about how teachers don't know everything, well, no one does. Keira tends to put her teachers(school, dance, etc) up on a pedestal and that is ok, but eventually she will learn they are just like everyone else, not perfect, will let her down, etc. Life lesson to learn. I have done the same thing in my life and it can turn out bad if you don't realize that your focus should be on Jesus and heavenly things, instead of people and earthly things. We are halfway in the school year and it has showed me that as parents we must be consistent and stay on top of things as we raise our children. Keira has picked up things at school that our family does not say or do and man, you can see her little rebellion wheels start turning. Prime example of how our flesh takes over and wants the things we should refrain from. We don't celebrate halloween, we don't do ghosts, witches, etc. I went to her party at school and never realized how much halloween is celebrated in our schools. It is on the bulletin boards, in their parties, in their candy, etc. She knows we don't celebrate this holiday, so she was just thrilled that this went on at school. She even told me once that she "celebrates in her brain." Wow! See how the flesh is at work and Satan, even in a 5yr old. So, in the future, our kids will probably not be going to school on halloween party days. We can't avoid it all, since they do worksheets the week of halloween with all this stuff on it, but we have to stick to what we believe and we are not concerned what others think or say. We have to rely on what the Bible says and we are striving to raise our children on God's word, not anyone else's. We also have taught our kids not to say "Oh, my God" or "Oh, my gosh" , yet this is something they hear on a regular basis. It would be so much easier to just give in and let them say these things, but here again, we are trying to teach them the importance of not taking God's name in vain. I am sure it is so difficult for Keira to hear this and think it is ok to say. She understands why we don't say this and other things, but I can see that she wants to cave and be like others. She didn't know who Justin Bieber was until she went to school. I am just amazed at what some kids listen to, she sure doesn't know who Lady Gaga or some of the rappers are. Yet, kids her age do and they don't care to share their knowledge. All this just brings me back to how this road of parenting is going to be a challenge. We have to rely on God's word and go to Scripture and seek Him. Proverbs 22:6 says Train a child up in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. We know God's words are true and don't change. His promises he keeps. We have to teach our kids what 1 John 2:15 says Do not love the world or the things in this world. "If anyone loves the world, the love of the father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world - the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions- is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. Is this an easy thing to do? No. I fail miserably and daily. But, I have to keep on keeping on, trusting God and His word. I have to keep teaching my kids His word and live them myself, not just say them. I fail at this all the time. It is a hard balance to try to teach our kids to be in this world, but not of it. I get caught up in this world and the "stuff" that goes with it. But, praise the Lord, Jesus saves us from all our sins and we are washed clean. So, our road of parenting continues, we will have ups and downs - storms will come - prayers may be answered, prayers may not be answered, but we know that God's will is going to be done. If I have learned anything in almost 6 yrs of parenting, it is that I had better stop on the road and get on my knees and pray.....pray.....pray....for my kids. Psalms 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.