The Leffew Family

Feb. 3, 2012

2012-02-03T14:12:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe it is February already. Where did January go? Tax season is upon us, which means hubby will be working more and more. Tomorrow begins the working on saturdays. As soon as he comes in from work, he goes downstairs and begins work on our additions. My dad and hubby have done an outstanding job of adding a bathroom, bedroom, closet, and office space. My uncle came and helped and done the electrical work and my brother has been able to chip in when he can. He will be laying the tile tomorrow. Thankful for each one of them and that they give up time from their busy lives to help us. It appears it will be done before Kylie makes her arrival, does that mean we will have all rotated rooms and painted, etc. by then, I don't know. But, it will all work out.

I went yesterday for my 31 week visit......what? 31 weeks!!! Yes, I can hardly believe it. The doctor has scheduled a c-section for March 27. Keira, Kylie, and I will all share the day of 27, just different months. I like that. I know I could go into labor, etc before then, but, I am hoping not. I am still yucky at times, even have my head in the toilet some, who would have thought? I did not do this with my other 2. Every pregnancy is different. My sweet little Brock was rubbing my back and asking if I was ok one day as I was sick. How sweet is he? My children do not mind to watch me be sick - on the other hand, I am like go on and let me do this alone, ha ha. I am really feeling fatigue now and by evening, my body aches. But, all worth it. I have finally begun looking at things for Kylie's room and am enjoying doing that online, instead of out shopping. Just not up to shopping long periods of time. The kids are getting excited about her arrival and Keira has it all planned out about who she will stay with and who Brock will stay with. Thankful for grandparents who are willing to help out..............we are blessed.

Keira has 4 games left in basketball and she had a big scoring game last week. She scored the teams first 10 points and ended up with 12 points total. She shows no expression while playing, I have been told she reminds people of me playing, no emotion, haha. The other girls are smiling, and you can tell they are having a good time, not my girl. She does love it though! What can I say? We are just serious about our sports. She seems to improve each week and her team has only been beat one time. Our team has taken criticism, but it was a blind draft and we just got the luck of the draw this time. Many people think Keira is 7 and have questioned her age and some of the others But, Keira will not be 7 until the end of July, she is just tall and people assume she is older. Come on, look at her dad and people in our family, not many short folks. She is enjoying winning, just like momma, but we have talked to her about losing and not getting a "big head" and that next yr she could end up on a team that may not win a game.
She wants to try softball this spring and not sure what she will think of it, but I am all for letting them try new things. We have said no to a travel team, not at this age. I think it is more for the parents anyway than the kids, all these tournaments and state tournaments at these young ages, please. If and when our kids decide they really love a sport and want to play on travel teams, aau, etc. we will let them, but until then, not happening. Keira is still loving school and doing very well. She loves her teacher and excels in many areas, must have got it from her daddy :) She is beginning to get ready for spring dance recital and as always, looking forward to seeing her perform.

Brock, well, he is just Brock. My sweet little boy. He is going to play baseball this spring and is already talking about flag football in the fall. He is so into video games, loves Mario and his nintendo ds. He would sit all day long and play! He doesn't want to go to preschool and lets me know every tuesday and thursday morning, but as soon as we arrive, he is fine. He says he is bored......haha. He has figured out that if I home school him, he doesn't have to leave the house. He loves being home, dislikes shopping, and complains if we have to go out. Typical male. Brock loves spending time with his daddy and building things, he loves spending time with his grandparents. He is just so loving and sweet. He talks about Kylie often and says he wont get to sleep at night when she is here. He and his daddy think they can do whatever they want, since they will be the men of the house, and that just tickles Brock. He likes to remind Keira of this.

So, life goes on and each day is a gift. We are moving forward and time is flying by. We are excited about how our lives will change, for the better, in 7 weeks. We become a family of 5! Wow - still doesn't seem real to me, but it is. God is good- all the time!

Happy New Year

2012-01-09T14:05:00.000-05:00

Christmas came, Christmas went! Happy New Year!! We began our Christmas family gatherings on the Thursday before Christmas and lasted till Monday evening. It all seems like a whirlwind, we stay on the go so much. But, we love all our family and enjoy time spent together. We stayed busy even after Christmas and did some fun things with the kids and then the kids got to spend one on one time with grandparents. They so enjoy that, and already look forward to their "special" day again. We had some snow/ice on Jan. 2, so the kids go out of school the following day. They were excited! I am having a hard time convincing my kids that warm weather is gone, as is evident in the above pics, they insist on summer clothing. I tend to be cold, but they are hot like their daddy. We have decided to add a bathroom and a bedroom downstairs, so this process has begun. The hubby wants to have this finished by the time our little blessing, Kylie Shields arrives. My cpa hubby is stepping out of his comfort zone, with help from his uncle and my dad, to do this project. They began this past weekend, and so proud of him. He is actually enjoying this - so, I may have some other projects for him to do. I know one thing already..... ha ha. We have discussed selling our house and looking for another, but, we love our location and love our home, so we choose to stay put. Plus, just can't find anything we just love in our town, so much for sell, but nothing we just love or the location is not for us. The kids did not want to sell and move, so they are happy! To look back at how our grandparents raised their kids, one set had 3, ones set had 4, one set had 10, one set had 12 - and to hear how they raised them in small houses, well, we can't say we need, we need, we need, when in reality your home is what you make it. Plus, who wants a bigger house to clean, not me!
Keira is playing basketball and loves it. Not real aggressive and she may never be, and that is ok. She is scoring and playing good defense. I love watching her. I don't know if she will stick with sports or dance, only time will tell. Her team, the Queen Bees, is doing well, 4-0, and they are a great bunch of players. Great coaches too! We are so pleased with all the coaches are teaching them. Brock is asking to play baseball, so guess we will see how that goes.
As for me, I have not begun "nesting" yet with this baby girl. Don't know, but I just cannot wrap my head around that she will be here in 12 wees or less. I feel like we have all this time to get ready. We have done nothing to prepare. No bottles, no diapers, no clothes, not even a crib yet. We do have a bassinet, so she is good for sleeping, haha. I am feeling more tired this go around, not sure if it is being a little older, it has been almost 5 yrs since Brock. Maybe it is because I am so out of shape.......hmmmmmm. I feel like I have forgotten everything about a newborn and panic may start setting in soon. Plus, the hubby is starting tax season, so he will not be around at first. He will get to make the birth and then back to work. So, I guess the grandparents can fight over who gets to keep the kids and who gets to spend their time with me at the hospital. I will have a c-section, so I get a 3 night vacation..........did I just say "vacation" I guess I need to get motivated and get things on order..................ready or not - Kylie is coming!

Papaw went Home

2011-12-12T12:25:00.000-05:00

Papaw Ronnie, my hubby's father, went home to be with the Lord Jesus Christ on Thursday afternoon, Dec. 1st.   We got to see him slip into eternity and it was so peaceful and he did not suffer. Prayers answered. He was surrounded by the ones who were meant to be at the house at this appointed time.   A time that our hearts were breaking as he left us, but also a time of rejoicing that he is with Jesus. Sounds funny to be able to be sad and rejoice at the same time, doesn't it? But, if you have been washed by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus, then no other greater joy to know that a loved one is finally home, for this world is just our temporary home. Papaw is no longer sick, no more suffering with cancer, no more being tired and weak, as Revelation 21:4 says, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.   How wonderful!!   Christians know that death is a new beginning, nothing but unspeakable joy and peace for the departed, for they are in the presence of the Lord! Psalm 116:15 says, Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. We have this hope that one day we will be in the place too, either by death or by Jesus second coming, which the way things are looking in this world, it may not be longer. Are you ready for His return? What if it happens today, tonight, tomorrow? Are you ready? Do you have a realtionship with the Lord? People can say they are religious, they attend church, etc., but that doesn't save your lost soul. Have you admitted your a sinner, confessed your sins, repented and accepted that Jesus died for you - I know you are as worthless as me and as undeserving as I am, for I am nothing, no good, nothing! Especially not worthy for God to send His Son to die on the cross and His blood covers my sins, as far as the east is to the west, and I did nothing to derserve it. I deserve hell. But, He loved me enough to do this and it is a free gift of grace and mercy. I pray if you are reading this, that you know the Lord, and if you don't, I pray that you will come to know Him. Time is short!
Our family life has changed tremendously in this past week, especially for my mother-in-love. The love of her life, her best friend for 39 yrs, but I have to tell you that she is doing ok, by the grace of God, she is going on. She would not want me bragging on her and I have heard her say, only thru the Lord is she able to go on. Does this mean it is easy for her? No way!! She misses him more than anything, her day to day life has changed, everything has changed.   But, she has been such a strong witness of her faith in the Lord during this time.   The Bible says we are to grieve, but not like we don't have any hope. She is and I believe, will continue to do that.   I will stop here, for I know she wouldn't want me to keep on about her and how she has been the best model of a Proverbs 31 woman for me. This past week it has been the little things in life that I have noticed that just seem so odd. For example, we ate at Buddy's Bar B Q one evening, sat at our usual tables, but Papaw's chair was empty. He wasn't there to bring the trays of food to us, he wasn't there to make us smile. Walking into their house, has been so different, not seeing him in his chair, not hearing his stories, his humor, etc.   Our daily happenings, just so different now. However, even though he is greatly missed, we wouldn't have him come back or prolonged his sickness. It was all God's plan and we trust in that. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 says Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him........and it continues on.   We have slowly gotten back into our normal routines and even though we miss papaw, we still have our memories. People ask how the kids are doing and they are fine. Keira doesn't want to talk about it, but Brock has openly talked how he misses papaw and about not getting to go hunting with him again. They will be fine. I made them big picture books of just them and papaw, so they can always see the good times they had with him.
This year has been a tough one, as we have had 2 babies go to heaven, my grandfather had an accident and went home to be with Jesus, and then having Papaw go home a week ago and just watching so many extended family members dealing with difficult situations, strained relationships, and so on. But, good can come from sorrow. It can lead to spiritual growth and a closer walk with the Lord. Death is coming to us all and no one can escape it. Tragedy is intended for our welfare, as difficult as that is and to see, we will be able to one day see the big picture. We only play a small part in the scheme of things. Romans 8 :28-29 says And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of Hi Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers.
We have tried hard to make sure when we talk with our kids about death , heaven, that the main focus of heaven is Jesus. Getting to be with Him! So often, you hear people in times of a loved ones passing, that they get to see so and so, etc. Yes, that is true, but oo often, some people get caught up in that and not the fact that, hey, they are with Jesus, cause He is the One who died for me, not anyone else, but Him!! How wonderful!!! People have mentioned reading certain books about so called experiences of going to heaven and coming back, I guess near-death experiences. I am skeptical about this, not saying they didn't have some kind of experience, but if they don't mention in their book or interviews promoting the book, about seeing Jesus, then a red flag goes up for me. I mean, if you don't see Jesus, then I can't be sure that really happened, isn't the reason we want to go to heaven? I know our human flesh wants that comfort of seeing our loved ones, but we must rely and trust what the Bible says.   I can't imagine anyone going to heaven and wanting to come back here to this sinful world, and the Bible does tell us we can't see Jesus in our flesh and bones, we get a glorified body once we enter eternity. I don't know about you, but I want to make sure I verify things with Scripture, not hear-say. We have always been honest with our kids and we don't shield them from life and all that comes along with life. I sure don't want the village raising my babies and I firmly believe in telling them God's Word, not other people's opinions, but what God says.  In conversations with them, we tell them beccause the Bible tells us this or that, not that mom and dad think this, etc. I want my kids to understand that this life is temporary and nothing in it lasts , only Jesus matters and that death is not a bad thing, if you are saved.
Phillipians 3:20 Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.

A special man in our family

2011-11-08T21:06:00.000-05:00

I just want to share with you about a special man in our lives, my hubby's father, my father-in-love, grandfather to my babies, a special man to each one of us. He was diagnosed with kidney cancer 5 1/2 yrs ago. We have watched him fight this battle and now it may be coming to an end. This has been so hard on our family to watch and we are not ready to let go...........however, we trust in God and trust His plan and know His will is being done. Somehow this journey has and will bring glory to God. Ronnie is 62 yrs young and I want another 20 yrs or more with him, for my mother in love , for my hubby, and especially for my babies. Sometimes, I am mad that my kids are going to miss out on knowing him as they grow-up, that my hubby is losing not only his father, but his best friend, that his wife is losing the love of her life, but then I must give thanks and praise to the Lord that we have had this time together as a family, that my hubby has had the godly influence of his father for 34 yrs, for a marriage going on 40 yrs that is strong and full of love and how their faith has carried them thru many things in their life together and how that same faith will carry them during the most difficult storm in their lives.

Ronnie is quite the man, one of the best a person will ever come across. The baby of 10 children, his father passed away when he was just 14 months old. Ronnie's mother, whom I knew briefly, but have heard so much about, was an exceptional lady. A single mother who raised all 10 kids, worked hard, and loved her family. What a woman! For him not to have a father, he turned out to be an exceptional man and father. Most men who grow up without a father don't turn out so well. But, with his mother's raising and by God's grace and his relationship with Jesus, he has turned out as one of the best.............no doubt in my mind that I will ever meet another person like him. Ronnie was a great baseball player and got the nickname, "rabbit", because of his speed. He is still called that by men who have known him from their playing and school days. I am proud to say he served our country in Vietnam and he loves this country. I can't even imagine what all he endured in that war, we have heard some stories, but I am sure not all of it. I am proud of his service and sacrifice. Short version here - Ronnie and Sherry met, fell in love, married, and had Brandon. They are prime examples of what a marriage should be! Besides my grandparents, who were married 62 yrs, this couple has been an example of what a marriage truly should be. When my hubby and I married, I never expected that our best friends would be my in-loves. You just don't imagine that as you think about getting married or hearing the horror stories about in-laws from other people. Low and behold, they are our best friends, they are just like parents to me, they have treated me as their own flesh and blood since the beginning. We have spent majority of our time with them and wouldn't change it at all. They have always gone above and beyond for us.

My father in love is the most unselfish man you will come across, he has always put others first. I cannot count the times he has done the things we all wanted to go do. Even over the past yrs with cancer, he has went to things for the kids, sat thru dance recitals, watched the Nutcracker (you know how hard this is for most men), went to amusement parks, went to Dixie Stampede - several times, vacations - with 2 small kids and evem let them ride on the long trips in their car........and I could list more and more. This man is a giver, I have seen him give his time or money to help anyone in need, regardless of the situation or how much it cost him, he has a giving heart. Never expecting anything in return, he just does. Sometimes, he did things without anyone knowing, just because that is the way he is and it was never for his own benefit or to bring himself glory, just because he wanted to show someone Jesus. Ronnie is a hard worker, can fix anything, he reminds me of the energizer bunny, always doing, always working. He would help anyone out, he would work at the church, and get the job done in half the time it might take someone else. The times I have run over a curb and busted a tire or my battery died, or anything else that I have broken, who did I turn to.....yes, my father-in-love, and here he would come to get me out of a jam. He never complained about it or got mad, just came and rescued me from my mishap. He truly has a servants heart!!

Ronnie is an avid hunter and loves being in the woods. We have heard countless hunting stories and the love for the sport has already been passed down to 4yr old Brock. Last yr, he took Brock out in his hunting thing he built, don't know what to call it. Brock still talks about that and asks all the time when papaw is going to take him hunting again. They watch hunting shows together and of course, my son, has 100 questions that papaw answers and explains to him. Brock also shares Papaw love of Nascar and they happily talk about the races and their drivers. They like different drivers, so they joke often about that. Brock is for sure papaw's boy and we think he is a lot like him. If he grows up to be like Ronnie, what a blessing that will be. Papaw loves his grandbabies and would do anything for them. I like the fact that he loves them enough to discipline them. He doesn't let them get away with behavior that is unacceptable. That is true love. He has been such a wonderful, Christian influence in their early yrs and I hope they get his servants heart.

So much I could write about, but the most important thing that stands out to me is Ronnie's heart and his relationship with Jesus. Our family has watched this man in this fight with cancer and not once complain, even when he was doing the worst treatments that made him so sick, he never complained. He has never questioned why this happened to him, never been mad at God about it, just keeps on keeping on. What a testimony this is, especially to us , me included, who want and do complain about so many things in this life that are unimportant. He would even tell you, he is just a sinner saved by grace, nothing on his own, nothing he has done, only saved by the blood of Jesus. Every day we are with him, and I cannot explain it better to you, but there is a peace about him, even as tired and weak as he is right now, I feel calm and peaceful around him. He still has his humor and still thinking about putting his family first. As heartbreaking as this is to watch, I know that one day he will suffer no longer, that his journey on this earth will be over, but he will remain in our hearts always. He is my hero, in more ways then one..................

update on the past month

2011-10-10T11:44:00.000-04:00

We have been busy, busy the past month. From school, to cheer, to flag football, and then add Nutcracker rehearsals into all this, life is hopping. Brandon is finishing up another deadline on Oct. 17th, so it will be nice to have him back until tax season begins. Baby Leffew is doing good, my sickness is easing up as I am 15 weeks along now. We heard the heartbeat at my last appointment and it was 167! We go back in a couple weeks for another check-up. This past saturday was the last day of football and cheer, the kids are going to miss that. They enjoyed it so much! Keira signed up for basketball, so that starts in a few weeks. Brock wants to play, but we are going to hold off on that for another yr. He is already talking soccer and tball in the spring. We participated in the Alzheimer's Walk yesterday afternoon and had a great time. I still miss my mamaw after 2 yrs, but know she is better off than us being with Jesus and having a new body!
The kids are excited about the baby and have fun coming up with names. Brock has silly names and Keira has picked out Kylie and Braden and just knows that we will use those, even after telling her no on one of the names. She will be little momma to this one. I don't want to find out the gender and just wait till birth, but my hubby insists we find out and said he could know and not tell me. Well, then he couldn't tell anyone else, and I don't think he can do that. So, we will see what happens in another month......

Baby Leffew #3

2011-09-04T17:38:00.000-04:00

We are thrilled that God has blessed us yet again. I will be 10 weeks pregnant in 3 days! We were shocked at this, as we were not trying to conceive after having 2 miscarriages this year. Plus, I had a d&c on May 10 and my body was not back to normal after a long month in June, which I will not give out details. I had no idea I was even ovualting and really didn't think I was. I honestly thought my body was just trying to get back to normal cycles. My period never came in July, so on July 28th, I decided to rule out pregnancy and took a test and to my surprise it was positive. I was in shock! I called Brandon crying and in a panic, thinking this cannot be, I just had a d&c and my body (and emotions)are not ready for this. I called the dr and went for blood the next morning.
Again in my life, which one would think I would get this by now - I am not in control and my plans are not God's plans. His plan is perfect!!!!! Needless to say I was a nervous wreck , any little thing, I thought I might be miscarrying. My first bloodwork came back and my progesterone levels were low so I thought I would miscarry. I began taking medicine and went back for more blood work. They couldn't even tell me how far along I was, just that I was very early! Well, thank the Lord I took the test that day and called my dr and started the meds. My second test showed me levels had risen and things looked good. I still was nervous. I was feeling sick and that is always a good thing in pregnancy. I was more than happy to be feeling yucky!!! After a few weeks, I got a peace about this pregnancy, not one way or the other, just a calmness, just peace - knowing that whatever happens, the Lord is in control and this is His plan for our family. Praise Him!! Finally, the day came to go do an ultrasound. I admit, I was nervous the morning, being the last time I saw my baby on ultrasound, we saw no heartbeat. A part of me didn't want to look at the screen, and I felt like my heart stopped until the tech said, "I see a hearbeat." A strong heartbeat of 170. I almost cried tears of joy. I could breathe............. The baby is developing and we could see arms and legs forming and the brain begining to develop, Baby measured that morning at 7 weeks 5 days. I was thrilled!! Brock was with Papaw and Mamaw outside and we got to show him the pictures. He replied that the baby looked "like a caterpillar, an angry caterpillar" Love his heart! The kids are excited and of course, Keira wants a girl and Brock wants a boy. We go back in a couple weeks and hopefully, they will do another ultrasound. I will be a little over 12weeks then and can't wait to see my baby again. I am just so thrilled that God has blessed us 5 times with our precious babies, even though 2 are in heaven, I will never forget those 2 that I will get to meet one day. I like to think we have a boy and a girl in heaven, maybe not, but I like to think so. God is good all the time and I am blessed beyond measure.

Flag Football

2011-08-22T13:22:00.000-04:00

Brock played in his first game of flag football this past saturday. He loves it!! He grins and talks the entire time. I am so glad he is loving this, we love watching him play and have so much fun.

End of swim lessons

2011-08-08T14:59:00.000-04:00

The kids had their final swim lessons of the season last week. Keira learned last yr to swim, but kept working on her strokes this summer. She is a little fish! Brock took off the arm floats and was willing to try this yr. Last year, he refused. He was quite something to watch, I cannot help but laugh as he "swims" After one lesson, he thought he was good enough to swim all over the place. Aunt Teresa offered to teach them again this year, and we love this time with her. She spoils them. They both received a trophy and a certificate.

Keira is 6!!!!

2011-07-30T10:26:00.000-04:00

The morning of her birthday! The kids love waking up to their door decorated!

I can't believe Keira turned 6 on July 27th, or that she is about to begin 1st grade. Over these past 6 yrs, we have watched Keira grow from a little baby into this little girl, who thinks she is older than 6! She is quite the girl - strong personality, confident in who she is, knows what she wants, does great in school, a natural talent in sports, sings well, and a joy to us. We try our best to teach her God's word and talk about Jesus and what He did for us, for we are all born sinners. I love this girl more than all the stars in the sky! We pray that the Lord will mold her and use her for His kingdom. I have tried to teach her that this life is not about us, regardless of what the world says, but about Jesus! We are here to glorify Him! I pray she will be a child of the King one day and I can't imgine anything better than to see your child be freed from their sins!

Brock and Keira had a joint party back in June, but we still celebrate their special days. I always want my babies to know they are special. On July 27th, Mamaw, Brock, Keira, and I went to her 6 yr check up. She is in the 90% for weight and >95% for height. Still always amazes me at her phyiscal stats! Best thing about the check-up, other than her being healthy, was hearing no shots on this visit and no more until 11 yrs. Yea!!

We then went to the mall and did some clothes shopping, ate lunch, got her ears pierced (they grew up after we left them out one day, a few months ago), had ice cream and came home! Good day!

Thursday evening, the grandparents came over to celebrate and we ate supper, had cupcakes, opened gifts, and enjoyed our time together. Keira was beaming the entire evening!! We love our girl and so thankful to God for our first gift!! Happy 6th Birthday!!

Great articles

2011-07-21T15:16:00.001-04:00

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-is-a-calling-and-where-your-children-rank

http://www.raisingarrows.net/2011/06/i-look-like-a-mom/

These 2 articles were recently sent to me and they both blessed me greatly!   I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, staying at home with my kids. This is the path that God has laid out for me and my family and I don't care what anyone, including family, thinks about our decision as hubby and wife for me to stay at home. Yes, I gave up my goals, my dreams, my plans for my life.............. If I worked - we could have already built or moved into a bigger house, we could afford a newer vehicle or 2, I could buy more clothes for myself and my kids, my kids could do more, I could carry a new brand name purse each season, I could have a gym membership and a trainer, we could have all this stuff and more. Isn't that right?
You know what? We have not missed out on anything! We are so blessed and have more "stuff" than we ever need. Okay, I don't have a brand new Denali, but my old one runs just fine. We don't have a big house, but our little home is just perfect for us right now and only time will tell if we move or not. We will know when the time is right. We are blessed beyond measure and we don't care anymore about others or keeping up with others. We are trying to live for the Lord and what works best for us.
I recently contemplated going to work for a year, a job came open in pe and it would more than likely just be for a yr, and I inquired about the position, but went no further. Honestly, I kept thinking how great this would be to take the salary I would make and just put it in savings and still live off the hubby. But, when you start looking at the pros and cons of going to work, more cons than pros, and deeep down, I know where I belong - at home!   Just paying for daycare was not really worth it and many other reasons. I let Satan tempt me with thinking we needed the money more than my family needed me at home. Wrong - my kids and hubby need and want me at home. The thought of leaving my sweet Brock at a daycare made me sick to my stomach, I don't want strangers raising my kids. I want to spend every moment I can with them, they grow to fast as it is.
Just as one of the articles talks about how people think you are crazy for wanting more than 1 or 2 kids, I have fully realized how true this is. I can't tell you the times women have said "you must be crazy to want another baby", or even better, "how do you stay at home every day, I need adult interaction, or I don't have the patience to be at home." Whatever - these are the women who miss out and obviously need a reality check. But, to each their own, I am not their judge.....just sayin'.    I never myself imagined I would want more than 1 or 2 kids, but here I am, still missing the 2 babies I miscarried this year. The Lord has blessed me 4 times being pregnant and how thankful I am to Him for that, even if the last 2 times were brief. I am a mother of 4 and I don't care what people think of that. No, I am not crazy and will not say I have 4 kids when people ask, but in my heart, I have 4.   Who are these people to tell me what and how many kids we should have? This is God's plan, not mine or yours. As my daughter says and sometimes I would very much like to tell some people, "worry about yourself" , but I keep my mouth shut.
So, as I think about how my goals, my dreams, and my plans - I just know I was going to win a state basketball title (or several) and then coach college - went down the drain, does it cause me sadness? Nope! Because the Lord has given me so much more when it comes to plans and what I need to be doing in my life, this reward of staying at home is worth more than any championships I could ever won. I am blessed beyond measure and don't deserve any of it, I deserve nothing, yet by the grace of God :

He chose me
He saved me
He loves me despite all my failures
He washed me with His blood
I am just a sinner saved by grace!   Praise the Lord!!

July 4th weekend

2011-07-16T20:07:00.000-04:00

My grandfather always got the first dance, so this year, my uncle stepped in and danced with aunt Teresa.

Shirts for the gathering!

We enjoyed an evening at my Uncle Jerry and Aunt Teresa's 3rd annual 4th get together. They have a beautiful place in town on the lake and people come by boats or cars to hang out. A huge meal is had and then a band played for entertainment. W had a good time and loved watching Brock dance to the music.

more July 4th weekend

2011-07-16T20:00:00.000-04:00

My grandfather's funeral and burial was on July 1st, so it was hard for me to look forward to the weekend. But, we had a good family weekend filled with many activities. We ate at Papaw and Mamaw Leffew house, played, chased lightning bugs, and shot fireworks. Sunday was church, out to eat, a little shopping, and then to another family event. On the 4th, we spent the day at Uncle Wade and Aunt Pam's enjoying good food and great family time.

1 party for 2 birthdays

2011-07-16T19:52:00.000-04:00

This year we decided to try one party for both birthdays, since they are only 6 weeks apart. It went great! So much easier than doing 2 separate parties. We decided upon a swim party and had it at the local pool. The kids picked out their cupcake cakes and we had minimal decorations and it was just plain, simple fun. I wish I had done this before.

Papaw Duncan - a great loss for our family

2011-06-28T08:30:00.000-04:00

My 89 yr old grandfather, unexpectedly, went home to be with Jesus yesterday afternoon. He was outside his house, not sure exactly what he was doing, but fell and went thru the rose bush and hit his head on a brick or the concrete. This is very difficult for our family and just something that caught us all off guard. It just does not seem like this is really true. A neighbor was mowing and saw papaw laying in the yard. He called an ambulance, but he was gone before they got to the hospital. I hope he did not lay and suffer, that thought crossed my mind as my dad told me what happened. However, on the bright side, that suffering was quickly changed to glory and praise as he stepped into eternity to be with Jesus. This is a different hurt (if that makes any sense) than when my grandmother passed away 2 yrs ago, the love of papaw's life, because she had alzheimer's and we had slowly watched her dwindle away for almost 12 yrs, and the last 2 weeks of her life was spent in the hospital, drifting away. We expected her time to come, but not his. Equally painful to lose them both, but just different circumstances. I like to think they are holding our 2 babies we lost this yr and that just makes my heart melt, and all the while singing praises to the Lord!!

Papaw loved his Savior, loved his wife of 62 yrs, loved his 4 children (their spouses), 8 grandchildren (their spouses), and 3 great-grandchildren. He had a love for life and found humor in many things. He could remember jokes from way back and his mind was very sharp. I loved to hear him tell stories of his life. He was a rough one growing up, but after marrying my grandmother, she got him into church, and he eventually was saved from his life of sin. Papaw was so proud of his family and supported all of us. He came to watch me play ball from a little one right up thru college. Even just this past year, you could find him at my cousins games, who are turning 11 and 13 this summer. He would even drive from OS to Kingston this past winter to watch Keira play basketball. Always made me smile to see him walk thru that door. He loved his little BB, as he called Keira, and his little buddy Brock (LD), he has nicknames for all the great-grandchildren. I think b/c he could not say Keira correctly when she was born.

Papaw was a World War 2 veteran and I am grateful and thankful for his service. He received some awards and has been honored over the yrs for his service at various functions. He also got to participate in the Honor Air program a couple yrs ago, what a wonderful experience for him and the other veterans. He told some things about being in the war, but like most vetereans, not much. I can't even imagine to begin to understand what that is like. Thank you Papaw for your service for your country.

I am going to miss him so much, I dread walking into my grandparents house for that first time without either one being home. He was my last living grandparent and I have been blessed to have a grandparent in my life for over 33 yrs. He always made me feel special and called me "his girl." Things will be different now. I loved all my grandparents and they all are special to me in their own ways, but this marks the end of a chapter in my life, as life goes on without them. I have many, many memories and will cherish those and all the moments we had together. I will miss the little things, like the smells (i know that sounds strange, but my grandmother's perfume and papaw's smell he wore), the things he said, the loving smile, the caring eyes, the offer of gum, the offer of food or anything for that matter, the laugh, the songs papaw sang to us and my babies, the way he loved my babies. I am going to miss him!!!

I could write so much about him and his life, but to others it won't mean as much. But to me, it is a lifetime of love.

Play day

2011-06-26T18:38:00.000-04:00

This past wed. the kids and I met our friends for lunch and to have a playday. Alyssa came home with us and Brock went home with Cayden. Worked out great - girls at one house and boys at the other. Plus, it was a stormy day, so this was just perfect. Keira is really enjoying having friends over now and I need to do this more often. I always say that, but life just gets busy!!

Father's Day 2011

2011-06-26T18:34:00.000-04:00

Kids with Papaw Ronnie

Big Papaw Duncan and Papaw Woody

I did not get pictures of the kids and daddy. Oops!! We gave him his gifts before church, so didn't get the camera out. This was Sunday evening during family game time.

After church, we had the grandparents over to our house for lunch and to celebrate Father's Day. We sure are blessed with the men in our lives!!

Brock's 4th birthday

2011-06-13T23:45:00.000-04:00

My sweet Brock turned 4 on June 11. I can hardly believe it! God blessed us with this special little boy, who brings so much joy to us. He is loving, kind, and tender hearted. I pray that he grows to be a man of God and puts Christ first in his life. I love our little talks about heaven and why this or that happens. Sometimes, I don't have the answers, but try to explain as best I can and that only God knows why, etc. I love this little boy and am dreading the day I have to send him to Kindergarten. I so cherish our days together and can't imagine not having him at home with me.

Saturday morning, Keira and I sang happy birthday to Brock as soon as he woke up. He loved his bedroom door that I had decorated and he was just thrilled about his big day. Daddy took both kids fishing and Papaw joined them. That evening, the grandparents came over and we had cupcakes and ice cream. He opened gifts, played pin the tail on the donkey, played with his new toys, and simply just enjoyed celebrating his turning 4. We had a great evening and if I had not already booked a party in a few weeks, I would just do this simple party for the kids at home and forget all the rest of the stressing, running around getting things, food, etc for a bigger party. The simple things in life...............

Myrtle Beach

2011-06-13T23:32:00.000-04:00

On June 3, we headed to Myrtle Beach and returned home on June 10. What a wonderful week! Papaw and Mamaw Leffew came by airplane and we got the pleasure of picking them up. The kids had signs made for them, it was so cute!! We also got the pleasure of spending the week with Uncle Wade, Aunt Pam, Jenna, Allison and their friend Madison. Keira and Brock love the girls, who are 19 and 17. Keira thinks she is just as old as them. Always amazes me how she will do whatever the girls ask her, like her hair, eating, etc. Always a struggle with me when it comes to certain things. We couldn't ask for better role models than Jenna and Allison for our kids. We stayed in North Myrtle Beach and have fallen in love with the place we stayed. Destin has been our favorite beach the past few yrs, but this may have changed. We will visit Destin soon, and then decide. Ha!! This year it has been nice that the kids can swim on their own and we can kick back a little. They love the water and Keira just amazes me how how well she is swimming w/o assistance. Brock has to use arm wings or other devices, but is doing better. We ate great dinners each night and went to a brazilian steakhouse, our first time. Absolutely wonderful!! Better have a big appetite for it. We played putt-putt twice. Our kids are competitive, not sure who they get that from. Ok, maybe me :) The kids rode some rides, did the jumping thing, rode a camel, face painting, and on and on. We had great weather and just perfect days. Loved our family time and wished it could have lasted longer. Something about being at the beach makes all the "stuff" going on in our lives disappear, if only for a short time. As much as we enjoy vacation, it was nice to come home to our own beds and cozy little home. I want bore you with anymore details. I love my family!!

Memorial Day Weekend

2011-05-31T20:09:00.000-04:00

We had a great Memorial Day weekend! Friday, we went to Dollywood and Saturday we spent the day at the lake and then Sunday, after church, we went to the pool at my cousin house. The kids are water dogs and love it!!

First Dollywood Trip of the season

2011-05-31T20:00:00.000-04:00

Brock got bumped up to orange for the rides. He was so excited, since this allowed him to ride new rides.

Our drivers

Little man and I on the elephant ride. Can't you tell he was thrilled about picture taking? HA!!

We finally made it to Dollywood and got our season passes renewed. It is always a chore to get the hubby to go, he really doesn't like this much, but since the kids love it, he does go most of the time with us. We rode some new rides this time since both kids got bumped up on the height requirement for the rides. We stayed most of the day and Brock went to sleep at 5:30 and slept till 6 the next morning.

tball

2011-05-22T23:07:00.000-04:00

Keira and Brock played tball for a few weeks at Luminary Church. This is a great experience for the kids and we have enjoyed this so much. The church does all this for free and the games are saturday mornings. I love the fact that the season is short and we are not at a ballfield often. Just the right amount for this age. Brock was not going to play and going to the first game he changed his mind. So glad he did, because he had a blast. He would ask during the week when the next game was. He stayed on the ground most of the time and really went after the ball. At first, he was upset that he didn't get the ball each time. We told him he had to let others have turns. Keira enjoyed playing, but had a bad attitude the last game. I told her she had to let other kids get the ball and she got upset, even crying. She missed part of the game b/c of this. But, she got over it and played and had a great time. The church got the kids medals and of course my 2 were thrilled.

Preschool Program

2011-05-22T22:58:00.000-04:00

Brock's first year of preschool has come and gone. He attended a local church 2x a week and loved it. This was good for him, especially as attached as he is to me. The kids sang a few songs and we watched a slideshow and then the kids moving on to kindergarten received certificates. Brock will be going back next yr and will move up to the 4 and 5yr old room.

Spring Recital 2011

2011-05-15T21:44:00.000-04:00

Keira performed with her ballet and tap classes this weekend in the spring show. She loves dance!! She is in Level II classes now and just enjoys this so much. I am always amazed at how these dancers go from their small studio to our local community college's theater and it all comes together so well. They only practiced at the theater 3 times before the shows. Keira performed saturday evening and then again sunday afternoon. She never seems to be tired of it. I work backstage once and then watch one time. I love to see her little face smiling as she dances. We have so much talent in our small town and you never realize it until you go to these shows. These girls should be proud, from the Level I classes to the adult classes. We have great teachers and leaders at arts in motion. Keira has already mentioned that she wants to take more classes next fall, including hip hop, jazz, and modern. We will have to see about that. She loves basketball and that might be too much to juggle. I never want to overload my kids with activities and will never push them to do things. So.........wait and see is all we can do right now.

Brock's new hair cut

2011-05-15T21:32:00.000-04:00

Brock has been wanting his hair to be spiked. His little friend at preschool spikes his and Brock thinks it is cool. So, this past Thursday I took him for a cut and this is what we ended up with. While getting his hair cut, he told us he wanted "one big spike", meaning a mohawk. I shot that down real quick. He kept insisting, and I kept saying "no." I love his new look!!

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-08T19:57:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow will be a week since we found out we lost the baby for certain. Physically, I am so ready to get this over with. I wish I had went ahead and had the d&c last Tuesday, instead of putting it off. Can't go back now. I have been afraid to leave the house much, not knowing when the miscarriage could hit. My first one came on suddenly, but this time it has been different. Thursday, I slowly began the process of a miscarriage but have not completed it yet. I am just so ready to have this part finished! Maybe too much info for some of you, but hey, it is life. Sorry.

Emotionally, I have been a wreck. I am up and down, mostly down. I don't think I can describe what I feel, I just feel "blue" most of the time. Like a piece of my heart has been taken from me and I know I will never get it back. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I have 2 babies in heaven. Just doesn't seem real to me. Tears come everytime I think about it. I don't know if this is what the beginning of being depressed feels like, but it is awful. I have never felt this way in my life. I can't imagine struggling with depression as some people do. I can't help but wonder the sex of my babies and if they would have looked like Keira and Brock, etc. I can't help but think that I would have been 12 weeks this weekend and clearing that first trimester. I know I am going to be fine, but right now, I just have to sort all this out and let God help me heal. Poor Brandon has been so supportive and admits he doesn't understand and I don't expect him to, I don't think men can or should be expected too. He has not told me to get over it or that I should be fine, etc. He has just been loving and patient with me. I am blessed!

Mother's Day was today and I am so blessed to have my 2 precious gifts that God gave to us. Keira and Brock have been such joys in our lives. They couldn't wait to give me their gifts, a new cd and a John MacArthur book. Love their hearts! They have been such a comfort this past week to me, they love on me and tell me that I am the best mommy in the world. I just thank God for them and how blessed we are.

I have been blessed by so many emails from women sharing their own personal stories with me about their miscarriages and loss. Many friends have offered their help in anyway - from bringing food over, watching the kids, to taking Keira to dance rehearsals next week. Can't thank them enough. Many women have gone thru this and still have that sense of loss and can recall the hurt, even from 30 yrs ago. Some suffered one loss, some suffered 3, some suffered with more physical problems than just the miscarriage, but we all share the same hurts. Thursday, my sweet mother-in-love took me to pre-register for my surgery and the anethesiologist (spelling??) came and talked to me. She must have felt really at ease with us as she began to open up about her 3 miscarriages and having a d&c. Tears came to her eyes, which got me to almost crying. She said it is something that is not discussed or dealt with by women and it is just crappy to endure. She was trying to comfort me and reassure me that everything will be fine. Before she left, she gave me and my mother-in-love hugs. It has been amazing at how many women go through this experience.

I have blessed in so many ways this week and I must focus on that. Psalm 18:19 He brought me forth also into a broad place; He rescued me , because He delighted in me.

Another loss

2011-05-04T13:13:00.000-04:00

We are experiencing our 2nd loss of a baby. I miscarried in January and have now lost our 2nd baby. That was one of the worst feelings in my life when I looked at the ultrasound and saw no heartbeat. I thought I was 8-9 wks along on our second ultrasound, but the baby was only measuring at 6 wks. The dr. said we could wait another week and we both wanted to wait. We could not go ahead with a d&c without being 100% certain that this baby was gone. So, we waited another week and on Monday we did another ultrasound and no heartbeat and that baby had stopped growing. I was just heartbroken. A part of me went in expecting to see a heartbeat and a part of me knew that this was the end. I know and believe God could have changed this outcome, but obviously this was not His plan. I looked at Brandon when the ultrasound tech left and all I could say was, "I can't believe this is happening again." We talked to the dr. and decided to do the d&c, scheduled a week away, b/c I wanted to go to Keira's little art show at school and we have dance , etc. But, I wish I had gone ahead and had it done yesterday morning, instead of waiting a week. We told the kids the baby has gone to heaven, they are fine, as kids just have that way about them. They have asked questions the past couple days, like "why did you lose the baby", etc. The only answer I can give them is that God said it was time for that baby to go to heaven. They want to know if we will see that baby and yes, we will one day. Keira asked me last night if God was going to give us back the baby. I had to tell her "No." I go from being ok to just wanting to cry my eyes out. If I was able to run, I think I would run until I just couldn't anymore. At times, I want to hit something, scream, or just crawl in bed and not get out. I don't know how I would have responded if I was not already blessed with Keira and Brock, it would be easy to become depressed. But, thankfully I know and trust that this is God's plan, not mine. I trust that He will get glory out of our loss. I don't understand it and never will this side of eternity. I do praise Him for allowing me to have the opportunity to have these 2 other babies, if only for a short time. Even though I feel like a piece of my heart has been taken, I can rejoice knowing they are with Jesus and as my sweet hubby prayed as we got in the car, after leaving the dr. that they will never suffer, never experience anything but joy, no tears, no hurt, no suffering in this world. Brandon prayed exactly how we both feel, even though I could hardly get words out at that time due to crying.
I do realize people go thru much more suffering than we are currently and my thoughts always go to my friends who have lost children of their own, not thru a miscarriage, but actually having that child in your life and that blessing goes on to heaven. Doesn't matter if they were 3 months old, or in their 20's, I only have experienced a glimpse of what parents go thru in that type of loss. My heart goes to them.
My hurts will heal with time and I hope other women who experience a miscarriage can find comfort, hope, peace, and love in Jesus.

Easter 2011

2011-04-28T13:15:00.000-04:00

Our family had such a wonderful Easter sunday. We went to church and our church did th elife of Jesus thru song and scripture. We are so blessed to have so many amazing singers in our small church. It is always great to see Papaw in the choir and leading the congregation, means he feels good enough to participate. We then went to Papaw and Mamaw house and all the Ray family came. We had a great lunch and then had our annual egg toss, egg hunt, and just good ole fun. The kids got some silly string in their baskets and they loved it. Thet wanted more!!

Our kids know the truth about the easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc. and Keira came home telling me she had told kids at school the truth. We had told her before not to say anything to other kids, b/c their parents may want them to believe these stories. She didn't understand why she shouldn't tell and we explained best we could. Had to laugh though!! Maybe some people think we are in the wrong, but my kids could care less and they still can't wait to see their gifts in their baskets, etc. I was torn about this decision, but when you think of it in terms of we try to teach our kids not to lie, to know what truth is, etc. then it all makes sense. As they get older, might they think Jesus is a made up story, since we can't see Him with our own eyes? Will they think we lied to them about Him allt heir lives, if we lied about the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc? Don't know the answer, and the hubby and I grew up believing this stuff and it didn't harm our views of Jesus. Dr. James Dobson doesn't see any problems with letting kids think it is real, but it just comes down to personal choice. My kids had such a fear of characters and anything in costume, that it was a big relief for them to know the truth. Keira was thrilled about the tooth fairy being us and she still likes the money under the pillow. Overall, when you think of the stories of all these holidays, it really is crazy to think some bunny goes around leaving gifts, etc. Or maybe our family is just narrow minded.....................well, I wouldn't change it, b/c the Bible is narrow minded and I sure don't want our family to be like this world. I heard a preacher say recently, "All paths might lead to heaven (as the world tells us), but only one path leads to eternal life." Amen.

Easter weekend

2011-04-23T19:37:00.000-04:00

After school Thursday, we went with Papaw and Mamaw to the Dixie Stampede. No pictures, forgot my camera. We had a good time and the kids love the show. Brock's face was priceless. This was our 3rd time going and Brock had asked all day if he could chase the chickens. Mamaw talked to our server and she went to see about it, but the other server already had kids picked out. Brock and Keira were next in line if anyone backed out. When the time came, I thought Brock was going to cry b/c he didn't get picked. Friday we chilled at home and colored eggs.

On saturday, Keira got to attend an egg hunt at a friend's house and she had a blast and then she had a skating birthday party for another friend. Daddy and Brock got to enjoy a lot of time together.

Easter with the Mullins Family

2011-04-18T10:59:00.000-04:00

Sunday after church we went to my aunt Pat's house to celebrate Easter with the family. The kids always have a blast with their cousins as they are all close in age. Hard to believe that yrs ago this was the same scene with me and my cousins and now here we all are, grown up, with kids of our own. Time flies! We had a great meal prepared by my aunts and the kids played and played. They hunted eggs a few times and found prize eggs. Each kid received a basket with goodies that my aunts had prepared. So much chocolate - guess I will have to help my kids with that. The weather was perfect and it was nice to sit back and relax and enjoy the day.

Legacy

2011-03-30T13:37:00.007-04:00

I love the song "Legacy" by Nicole Nordeman. In the past few weeks the thought occured to me this could be my theme song as a mother. What kind of legacy am I leaving for my children? What am I showing them day to day? What am I teaching them? Am I doing this or that enough? If I die today, what kind of legacy have I left for my children? The most important question, to me, is am I pointing to God enough, am I showing them, talking to them about Jesus enough?????????
The little things in life are important in life. Those little lessons that we take for granted or assume our children just know. We shouldn't assume they know anything, how can they, if they are not taught. Something that just irritates me is in Turkey Creek, a shopping place in Knoxville, that 8 out of 10 times will happen to me, is the 4 way intersection beside Chick-fil-a. It only has 2 stop signs, yet people make it a 4 way stop. Drives me nuts! Is it that hard to read traffic signs? Obviously, it is at this intersection. So, I could keep ranting, but I will go on. Normally, I let my tongue fly and say things : "Come on lady, what are you doing?" etc. in a not so nice tone. I hadn't put much thought into this, until my 3 yr old busts out in a drive-thru yelling for the car in front of us "go on" in his not so nice tone. I quickly realized my little sponges are soaking up ALL my actions and words. I said something to him and realized I must learn patience at this intersection as my children are learning quickly it is okay to yell or get annoyed with people over something so unimportant, no matter how ridiculous I think it is that people cannot follow traffic signs :) What kind of legacy am I leaving????

I must realize that every single thing I do and say, my children are picking up and will use it in their lives. So, I must be on guard that I am teaching them about Jesus and what He wants us to do. Not what my flesh desires to do, but what Jesus wants us to do. Am I loving Him enough and pointing to Him??

"Legacy"
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me And I enjoy an accolade like the rest You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl' But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides The temporary trappings of this world I want to leave a legacy How will they remember me? Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough To make a mark on things? I want to leave an offering A child of mercy and grace who blessed your name unapologetically And leave that kind of legacy I don't have to look too far or too long awhile To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one... What kind of legacy are you leaving.............

Beauty Shop

2011-03-30T13:28:00.003-04:00

One of the best toys we ever got Keira was her beauty shop. She loves it and even uses it in the mornings to do her hair. From time to time, she recruits Brock to be her customer and he happily obliges. They actually put water in the sink this time and he had to dip his head in the sink. He just sits and lets her do whatever! My turn came and Brock wanted to help, but boss lady would not let him. She likes to be in charge and poor little brother is usually the one who has to hear it. Needless to say, my session did not last long as I informed her that Brock could help.

Fun with Daddy

2011-03-22T10:22:00.002-04:00

This past weekend, we were all so excited that daddy got the weekend off. This rarely happens in tax season and we enjoyed being together as a family. We were blessed with beautiful, warm weather and took advantage of it. After daddy mowed, the kids played some football with him. He told me that while he was mowing, Brock was walking around holding the football and looking at him. We enjoyed the evening by going out to dinner and shopping a little. We went to the bookstore and I am so glad my kids are showing interest in reading. Now that Keira is reading, we found her some books just for her to read and she was excited. I am amazed at how well she is doing. I still think of her like she should still be 4yrs old, and here we are approaching 6! She has grown up so much during kindergarten and makes me sad in a way. My baby isn't much of a baby anymore.

2011-03-08T18:11:00.002-05:00

I am so thankful we have a basement the kids can just go to and play, play, play. Plus, it usually looks like a tornado has come thru and I would much rather that occur downstairs than upstairs!

Keira loves to set up restaurants, picnics, etc and they act like they have babies and carry on. Love watching their imaginations at work. Keira has got Brock into the baby thing and he will carry his boy baby around and ask me to hold him. They love to play store and use their cash register and scan everything. I have shopped many a day at Keira's Boutique. I have so enjoyed watching the sister and brother relationship grow and develop. They love each other so much and have been getting along amazingly the past few months. A few months ago, it was usually war most of the time, but now they hug and kiss on each other. Keira wants to be a mommy sometimes to Brock, but he doesn't like that concept. I heard Brock this morning as we were getting ready for school tell Keira that he misses her. So sweet!!

89 yrs young

2011-03-08T17:56:00.002-05:00

My grandfather, Papaw Duncan, tuned 89 on March 2. The Duncan family gathered at my aunt and uncle's home to celebrate Big Papaw's (as he is known to his 3 great-grandchildren) special day. We enjoyed a good dinner and then had cake and ice cream. Keira and Brock just had to pick out 2 small balloons for him. He sure is special to our family and me. He is my last living grandparent, which makes it even sweeter to me. Big Papaw's mind is sharp and he loves to tell a story or a joke and even sing a song for the little ones. I especially love to hear him talk about my grandmother, who passed away 2 yrs this past January. She was the love of his life and they were married 62 yrs before alzheimer's took her from us. If someone ever wanted to see wedding vows in the purest form, then they were a shining example of what marriage should be. Not saying it was perfect, and I am sure they had their moments, especially earlier on, but they sure ended a lifetime of love best as one can. My grandfather took care of her for 11 yrs as she battled the ugly disease that robbed her of so much. She got to the point of not even remembering that she was married, etc. But, that never mattered to him as he lovingly and patiently took care of her. She was never put in a nursing home or such and remained at home until the final week or so of her life, when she had to be put in a hospital. True and selfless love!! A man who loves fishing, but truly lived with the greatest catch of his life. Their is a sign at their home that says this and I have always loved it. One of my fondest memories is of him telling me how my grandmother(as she was in the hospital passing away) led him to the Lord after they had married. I hope I never forget that story. Happy Birthday, Papaw!!

My little brother gets married

2011-03-02T11:40:00.002-05:00

This past Saturday my brother, Jared, and Laura got married. They had a small, family wedding at my aunt Phyllis's wedding chapel. My mom and aunts prepared the food and cakes, and as always did an outstanding job. The happy couple asked me to take pictures and I agreed. I was a nervous wreck as you do not want to mess up on something like this. I am by no means a professional and don't claim to be. We enjoyed the evening and welcome Laura into our family!

Bath Time Fun!

2011-02-25T14:02:00.002-05:00

After an afternoon of playing at Papaw and Mamaw's the kids needed a bublle bath. They had a ball in the tub with bubbles up to their heads. The sound of laughter filled the air - not much better sounds than hearing my kids giggling.

I used my new point and shoot camera to take these and the pics of hubby's birthday and I learned I have been spoiled by my DSLR. I wanted a small camera to carry around, especially when you are doing activites with the kids and it is hard to juggle them and a big camera. But, it works good, just use to the better quality of the other camera.

Happy 34th Birthday, Daddy!!

2011-02-25T13:55:00.002-05:00

Since the hubby's birthday is on Feb.22, we usually celebrate the weekend before or after, just depending on what day it falls. Tax season is in full swing and we have to plan accordingly. The kids picked out a cake, nope, I am not a baker, wish I was! We had a birthday dinner after church and had cake and dessert. The kids love a party! They don't understand why adults normally don't have parties like kids. Maybe next yr, the hubby and I should have a birthday party for us at some kid establishment and really blow their minds. We had a wonderful day and great family time! The kids picked out pin the tail on the donkey game and those party poppers for outside use. Happy Birthday, Daddy!! We love you!!!

Sleep

2011-02-19T11:30:00.002-05:00

Awwww......so sweet to look at sleeping children. They seem so innocent when they sleep, how quickly that fades as soon as they wake and get moving. HA!! Brock is my early riser, I am talking anywhere from 5-6:30 a.m. every morning. Granted, he goes to bed between 7-7:30 most nights, but he is my early bird. Normally, I get up and get him chocolate milk and he watches t.v. I go get back in bed with Keira, b/c she is no early bird and we need Ms. Congeniality to get as much sleep as possible. It isn't long before he comes to her room and climbs in bed with us. I am sandwiched in between them both and can hardly move. Sometimes, he goes to sleep, most times he doesn't. He sweetly looks at me and says, " You like to snuggle with your babies, don't you mom?" Melts my heart! I am so thankful I don't have a job to get up and get ready for each morning and I get to enjoy these precious moments every morning with them.

January 21, 2011

2011-02-07T18:19:00.002-05:00

First of all, I am not writing this for sympathy or any responses. I wanted to write on this subject in case someone else experiences this and stumbles upon my blog, maybe I can help you in some way, maybe not. On January 21, I suffered a miscarriage. I have never went from such an extreme high to such a low in my life. I was the type who had previously thought that a miscarriage would not be that emotional or painful, especially in the first trimester. I was wrong! It happened early Friday morning and I knew I had lost the baby. I called the dr. as soon as they opened that mornng. I carried on about my day, just numb, absolutely numb, not wanting to believe that I had lost a baby just a few hours ago. I had no major issues with my other 2 babies and never imagined this would happen to me. I knew it was possible, but just thought it really would not happen to me. I dropped Brock off at the grandparents house, as it was my morning to volunteer at Keira's school. I put on my best face for those kids and my dr. called and wanted me to come in and do bloodwork. So, that afternoon I went. I was told I would have to come back Monday and do more. I did not like the waiting part - I wanted an answer right then. Deep down, I knew the answer. Friday evening we had planned a girls outing to dinner and a movie with Keira, while Brock attended the monster truck show with daddy and papaw. Again, I put on my best face and went along for my Keira. This was her night and she was so excited, as much as I just wanted to stay home and cry, I couldn't. My sweet hubby did not give up hope all weekend and even on Sunday baby names were mentioned. He was talking about putting the house on the market this spring and how I will need a mini-van, etc. Bless him! He was so happy about #3 and then it turned to sadness. I went back Monday and she told me I had lost it. I did my best not to break down in the lab. I had Brock with me, and did not want to explain why I was crying. I held it together. All weekend I tried my best not to break down, I tend to internalize things, especially something on this level. Don't get me worng, I was crying, but never just let it all out crying. I felt so empty inside, like a part of me was missing. Friday afternoon, I told God how sorry I was because back in Dec. I had said I did not want anymore kids, but when I found out I was preggo, I was thrilled. I did want this baby. I never asked why this happened, I know God is in control and His will is being done. I just felt so guilty for ever saying those words. My heart broke. Even though I will never know this child this side of eternity, I will get to meet him or her one day. Once you experience this loss, you don't want anyone else to have to go thru it. I spent the following week just down and out, not wanting to go anywhere, just sad. It is okay to grieve for that baby, no matter how far along you were. One thing I recommend is to talk to other women, especially if you have friends who have gone thru this before. They are a tremendous help. I have a friend who lost her 3 month old, and he was also a twin, and she had lost his twin early on. I told her I cannot imagine what she felt and experienced losing her 3 month old, I only got a glimpse of what she has had to deal with. I did not broadcast the miscarriage, only family and close friends knew. Someone told me to blog about it, and at first I thought no, to private for me to share with the world. But, then I thought if I could help someone else out, why hold back. I just want you to know it is okay to be sad, to be down, to grieve. My sweet friend told me I should not feel guilty for saying I did not want another baby back in dec. that was just Satan trying to get to me and use that against me. She was right! Some people will say things like, "Well, at least it was early on" or "You can try again", and so on. They mean well, but not exactly what you want to hear, because you wanted THAT baby, not another one. Just say your sorry and love that person, that will do them more than anything. It is hard to respond to those statements, or it was for me. If you are a Christian, you believe and hold onto your faith in Jesus, that this happened for a reason and God will get glory somehow, someway. If you are not a Christian, I encourage you to look at Scripture in the Bible and turn to the one and only Holy God. Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Psalms 18 :16-19 He sent from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, But the Lord was my stay. He brought me forth also into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me. How awesome is that? God will rescue us, b/c he delights in us. No matter what trial or "storm" you are in in life, please know that Jesus can rescue you and set you free from that and all sin in your life. He has done this for me. And I can honestly say I would have sank into a depression after this miscarriage, given my personality and being an introvert. Only b/c I have been saved from my sinful nature is this possible. This doesn't mean the road is easy once you are saved, in any area of life, but you will have a Redeemer on your side. I have had my moments since I miscarried, when something is said or I see a pregnant woman and so on, that reminds me of my loss and I think about what could have been...............but I also have my Jesus, which surpasses any loss in this world. I will see my baby again, but for now he or she is with Jesus and praising Him.

The Road of Parenthood

2011-02-01T09:29:00.002-05:00

As my children are growing, I realize how parenting is/will be my hardest job ever. Don't get me wrong, or take that statement in the wrong way. I love being a mommy and all the things that go with this role. Good and bad! I guess my eyes were opened to how easily my children could be swayed by others and turn in a different direction than what my hubby and I are trying to teach them and instill in them as they grow. Keira told me the other day what she learned in school - that humans are animals (mammals), etc. I understand what the lesson was covering, but what got me was when she tells me that "we had whiskers" and something about the "dots on our hands." Granted some old ladies have whiskers, I will give her that, but I said we are not animals in the sense she was referring to. In her little mind, she was referring to animals , like dogs and cats, etc. As we are discussing this further, she informs me that it is true b/c "my teacher said so." I got a dose of just how much influence a teacher , a coach, anyone for that matter could have over my kids. For the record, I am not bashing Keira's teacher. I think she does a wonderful job! It just showed me how much influence someone can have on my kids. I realized how as my kids get older and they may be around people who believe in evolution or don't beleive in God, could say things, re-word things, etc that could sway my kids from the truth. So, we must equip our kids with the truth of God's word. I had the talk about how teachers don't know everything, well, no one does. Keira tends to put her teachers(school, dance, etc) up on a pedestal and that is ok, but eventually she will learn they are just like everyone else, not perfect, will let her down, etc. Life lesson to learn. I have done the same thing in my life and it can turn out bad if you don't realize that your focus should be on Jesus and heavenly things, instead of people and earthly things. We are halfway in the school year and it has showed me that as parents we must be consistent and stay on top of things as we raise our children. Keira has picked up things at school that our family does not say or do and man, you can see her little rebellion wheels start turning. Prime example of how our flesh takes over and wants the things we should refrain from. We don't celebrate halloween, we don't do ghosts, witches, etc. I went to her party at school and never realized how much halloween is celebrated in our schools. It is on the bulletin boards, in their parties, in their candy, etc. She knows we don't celebrate this holiday, so she was just thrilled that this went on at school. She even told me once that she "celebrates in her brain." Wow! See how the flesh is at work and Satan, even in a 5yr old. So, in the future, our kids will probably not be going to school on halloween party days. We can't avoid it all, since they do worksheets the week of halloween with all this stuff on it, but we have to stick to what we believe and we are not concerned what others think or say. We have to rely on what the Bible says and we are striving to raise our children on God's word, not anyone else's. We also have taught our kids not to say "Oh, my God" or "Oh, my gosh" , yet this is something they hear on a regular basis. It would be so much easier to just give in and let them say these things, but here again, we are trying to teach them the importance of not taking God's name in vain. I am sure it is so difficult for Keira to hear this and think it is ok to say. She understands why we don't say this and other things, but I can see that she wants to cave and be like others. She didn't know who Justin Bieber was until she went to school. I am just amazed at what some kids listen to, she sure doesn't know who Lady Gaga or some of the rappers are. Yet, kids her age do and they don't care to share their knowledge. All this just brings me back to how this road of parenting is going to be a challenge. We have to rely on God's word and go to Scripture and seek Him. Proverbs 22:6 says Train a child up in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. We know God's words are true and don't change. His promises he keeps. We have to teach our kids what 1 John 2:15 says Do not love the world or the things in this world. "If anyone loves the world, the love of the father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world - the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions- is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. Is this an easy thing to do? No. I fail miserably and daily. But, I have to keep on keeping on, trusting God and His word. I have to keep teaching my kids His word and live them myself, not just say them. I fail at this all the time. It is a hard balance to try to teach our kids to be in this world, but not of it. I get caught up in this world and the "stuff" that goes with it. But, praise the Lord, Jesus saves us from all our sins and we are washed clean. So, our road of parenting continues, we will have ups and downs - storms will come - prayers may be answered, prayers may not be answered, but we know that God's will is going to be done. If I have learned anything in almost 6 yrs of parenting, it is that I had better stop on the road and get on my knees and pray.....pray.....pray....for my kids. Psalms 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

A week of no school

2011-01-14T16:36:00.003-05:00

We have a had a week of no school and I really did not know what to expect from the kids, since we would be stuck at home all week due to the snow. Brandon had to drive my vehicle to work everyday and no way was I attempting to get out in it. But, the kids have been wonderful. They have played so well together and I would hear them calling each other "best friend." Made me smile! Keira did miss school, but she enjoyed being at home. This is a girl who loves going to school. Of course, we played in the snow and sled 3 days, by the 3rd day it was icy and they went to fast for me, so I was done with that. Last year, I missed Brock once and it scared me because he was going so fast. We have played everything from Barbie, cars, monster trucks, beauty shop, board games, wii games, read books, and so on. Thankfully, Thursday evening we got to go to Cracker Barrell and then went to Keira's basketball practice, she was so thrilled they had it. The kids are out again Monday for an in-service day, so I am thinking we may have to go to an indoor play facility to burn some energy and let them run. Brock on the other hand is loving that he has not been to school in almost 2 weeks. The Thursday before all the snow came, it had snowed a little and Keira was on 2 hr delay, so I just kept Brock home since his school wouldn't start till 11 and then gets out at 2. He would prefer to stay at home anyway. He doesn't cry when I leave him, but he lets me know that school is "yucky and boring."

In the above pictures, we started out with 1 tent and ended up having to put up another, as each wanted their own. It got a little wild! A good week!

Snow Day

2011-01-11T16:57:00.002-05:00

We woke up Monday morning to 4 inches of snow! The kids were so excited and could not wait to get out in it. So, mid-morning the hubby and I bundled all of us up and headed outside. Keira got a sled for Christmas and got to try it out. Brock was absolutely thrilled and loved sledding. After about an hour, we came in and warmed up. Later in the afternoon, Papaw Woody came over and played with us. Papaw and Mamaw Leffew also came up. What a good time the kids had.

More Snow Day

2011-01-11T16:53:00.001-05:00

First basketball game

2011-01-11T16:48:00.003-05:00

Keira began Upward basketball this past saturday morning. Last year was not a great experience in the city league for her as they play ages 4-6 and just being 4 at that time, it was a little overwhelming for her. This year, and this league, her team is made up of only kindergarten kids and they only play other kindergarten teams. Much better! She seems to like basketball, and dribbles okay for a 5 yr old. She is timid on the court when it comes to taking the ball from the other team and so on. She was not able to score a basket, but put up a great shot and almost banked it it. Just a little too hard!

Keira's first lost tooth

2011-01-10T07:27:00.003-05:00

Keira began the new year by losing her first tooth. She had a dentist appointment back in Dec. and he told us she has 4 teeth that are loose. The bottom one has been ready to come out, but she kept saying it hurt when we would try to pull it. We were getting ready for bed and she yells from the bathroom that she just pulled her tooth. Then, she kinda panicked because of the blood, and we got that taken care of. She was so excited!! So, we prepare to go to go to bed and she is ready for her money. Instead of waiting, she goes and tells Brandon she is ready for the tooth fairy. Our kids know we are the tooth fairy, and are perfectly fine with that. Keira would prefer it this way. We have told them all the holiday "characters" are made-up, it is just stories.

Keira and I are laying in the bed waiting for Brandon, and I said just put the money on her dresser, but she was not having it. She wanted it under her pillow. It was so funny! I thought she would want to wait and go to sleep and be surprised in the morning. Losing teeth is just another reminder of how fast they are growing up!!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-30T16:36:00.003-05:00

Christmas at our house was good, except Keira was not feeling well. Friday evening, while we were at Wade and Pam's house, she began complaining of a belly ache and then climbed on the couch beside me and went to sleep. It was not long she was running a slight fever. So, Christmas morning we do our gifts and then she feels so bad, she gets on the couch. She really was not interested in playing with her toys. She complained of headache, belly, and fever. As the day went on, she was not improving. The fever began getting high and she kept complaining. At 9:30 that evening, Brandon loaded her up and took off to the ER at Children's. Due to the poor weather of snow, we decided it was better for him to drive. It broke my heart as I kissed her goodbye and she was asking for me to take her. I stayed home with Brock, waiting. By 10:15, they had been in triage and Brandon is texting me with every update. Thankfully, the ER was not busy. They tested for strep,flu, bladder infection, did xray, and a cat scan . The dr. assumed appendix and I began trying to mentally prepare myself for the possibility of surgery. Not an easy thing to do. She had many of the symptoms of appendix at this time. The night goes on and I could not sleep. Of course, all kinds of possibilities run thru your mind at this point. What if's began to come. Finally, morning comes and we are no closer to an answer. My dad comes up and stays with Brock, while Papaw and Mamaw Leffew take me to to the hospital. We arrive just as they are about to take her to a room. I see my little girl, hooked up to an IV, looking so sick, and it brings the tears. We go to the surgery floor, waiting on a surgeon. Mid-morning she arrives and she doesn't think it is appendix. So, more waiting. We see a dr. and she thinks it may be something viral. They noticed something on the xray or scan in her GI tract. So, we are eventually moved to another floor, more testing, etc. . Long story short, we ended up spending 3 nights in the hospital, with a final diagnosis of adenovirus. They told us this is contagious, but thankfully, no one else has come down with this. We are so thankful no surgery or anything else was wrong. Things like this put into perspective for me just how quickly our lives can change.

Thank you, Lord for your protection on my child and for guiding the dr. to the correct diagnosis.

Christmas Eve evening

2010-12-25T11:15:00.002-05:00

We went to Uncle Wade and Aunt Pam's house for the Ray family Christmas. What a good time! Henry, who is only 4 weeks old, was passed around and loved on. The kids had a blast playing. Good laughs had by all. Uncle Wade and Brock opened fire with a nerf gun and were blasting us all. I think Wade enjoyed it more than Brock. The only down side of the day was that Keira began feeling bad and went to sleep on the couch. She was running a slight fever and complaining of a headache and belly ache. We ended up coming home earlier than usual to get her to bed.

Christmas Eve morning

2010-12-25T00:30:00.002-05:00

All of us worked on the zhu zhu pet playsets.

He loved the dinosaur he got!

Checking out a gift

Papaw Woody and Mamaw Peggy with the kids

We got to my dad and step-mom's home Christmas eve morning and have a wonderful breakfast and enjoy family time up to the afternoon time.

Duncan Christmas 2010

2010-12-25T00:24:00.002-05:00

My grandfather, 88 yrs old, cracked his hip over a week ago and is having to stay and rehab at a facility. He was not able to make it home, so the staff let us use a room close to his room inorder to celebrate Christmas. We had a good evening, despite not being at home. Just being together makes it all better. Some of the grandkids and great-grandkids

2010-12-19T20:21:00.002-05:00

Grammie playing Simon Says with the kids

Sat. we celebrated Chrsitmas with my mom's family. My aunt and uncle purchased a wedding chapel a couple months ago and they decided to host our get together at the chapel.

We had good food and good company. The kids ran around playing and my mom entertained them. The kids got to open some gifts and were thrilled to get pillow pets. Then, we did photo shoots of all the family and then some of each family. Fun times!

New tradition

2010-12-18T10:16:00.002-05:00

Friday evening we had some friends come over (we missed you guys that couldn't come) to celebrate Jesus. We had a birthday party in honor of Jesus. We ate, did some crafts, and then I told the story of Jesus by wrapping "gifts" and letting the kids open them as we got to that part of the story. I went thru the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

We also made up gift baskets for 7 widows. The other moms and I want to establish giving to others early in our kids. So much of our lives are focused on self and the world tells us that is ok. I don't want my kids to be selfish, my desire is that they want to share Jesus with everyone they come in contact with.

We had a wonderful evening and my kids love nothing more than having friends over. Sunday, we plan on giving the baskets out and I hope the kids enjoy this part, too!!

Keira's first Nutcracker

2010-12-05T21:53:00.002-05:00

Love, love the mice!! They are so cute !!

My little girl making her debut in the Nutcracker!

We just wrapped up this afternoon Keira's first experience being in the Nutcracker. She loved it! I can't believe this is my little girl, on stage, who a yr ago never would have done something like this. She even told me "I can't stop smiling on stage." Keira wanted to be in the party scene, but I thought it best to only do one part this year, as this is all new to our family. After auditions in late Sept. the rehearsals begin in early October. So, the dancers and staff put hard work into this production. The show is performed Thursday-Sunday. The week before the show begins, they rehearse every single night. You think the kids would be tired of it, but they love it.

Honestly, I was not a fan of ballet, but once I sat and watched all this rehearsal and just how talented these girls are, I couldn't help but grow an appreciation for ballet. I have enjoyed learning about dance the past couple yrs and look forward to the spring recital already!

Keira was blessed to have all her grandparents, her 88yr great grandfather, some aunts, cousins, uncles, and special friends come watch her. I hope she realizes how loved she is!!

Thanksgiving

2010-11-28T19:02:00.002-05:00

I did not take may pictures of our Thanksgiving get togethers. We began the week before with my mom's family and I never took one single picture. Then, the night before Thanksgiving, I only managed a couple pics at the Duncan gathering. Finally, on Thanksgiving day, I did not manage many family pics. I did do a photo shoot with Jenna and Allison, but other than that, not anymore.

We had a great time with all our family and have been blessed beyond measure.

Keira with Big Papaw, she would not look at me!

Being selfish starts early....

2010-11-16T17:17:00.002-05:00

Kids............they look and seem so innocent. As my children are growing and we have experienced 5yrs of child-rearing, I have seen first hand just how much we are born sinners. Yes, a term most of us have heard all our lives, but I never really put much thought into it until the past few weeks. However, some folks will argue that we are not born sinners, please, have you ever in your life been around children? Even newborns learn to manipulate their parents to a certain extent. Ask me why I still sleep with my 5yr old every night. She manipulated me from 2 weeks old and it just grew worse. I could not stand her crying and so I held her while she slept and now I am still paying for it. I enabled her to do this. Needless to say, I did not do this the second time around. I learned my lesson! I am seeing behaviors, words, etc. out of my kids that shows me more and more how much we need a Savior. My greatest longing for my kids is that they be saved, that they believe Jesus died for their sins and they grow up loving Him with all their heart, mind, and soul! As a parent, I am learning to lean on Jesus even more as I have been given these 2 gifts from God to raise and train up for Him, not for me or my family, but for God. Parenting has been my biggest challenge and the most rewarding at the same time. I want my kids to be loving, compassionate, slow to anger, extend mercy, and so on.... A prime example of how early being selfish begins occurred last night as Brandon and I helped Keira count the money from her piggy bank. We are going to take it to the bank and I suggested she leave some out to buy a gift from an angel tree. She said "No", she wanted "it all to go to the bank." Then, Brandon tried to talk to her about giving some to the church as an offering, again she responded with a "no." We tried to explain how this money is ultimately not hers, or ours, but God's and that He gave it to her from the start. She wasn't having any of that. I tried to talk to her about helping others, especially ones in need, she didn't care. She wanted it all for herself. I talked about little girls who will not get any gifts for Christmas and so on, still she was cold-hearted and wanted to know if she gave them something, would she get something in return. This opened my eyes to how much I want to show my kids to be givers, not takers. And, I do think we need to begin this now with them. We always do the angel tree and such at Christmas time, but I want them to be givers year round. I want them to see the joy in helping others, the joy in sharing Christ's love, the joy in seeing someone be saved. I pray they will be servants, not takers all the the time. Now more than ever in our culture, I must teach them to be givers. It is so easy to get caught up in the me, me, me syndrome. I see it already in my 3yr old, who wants every single toy that is advertised on tv. Yes, I know this is normal in kids, but I don't want them growing up thinking they should have anything and everything just because they want it. One day I hope they realize how they have been blessed with the family God gave them too, not just materially, but in more important areas. It just saddened me to see and hear Keira's reaction, and made me realize how selfish I am also. I pitch my little adult temper-tantrums when things don't go my way, or I don't get the material things I think I need. I may not react like my daughter, but I do whine or complain, or turn cold. I like to get upset if things don't go the way I planned, which just happened a couple weeks ago, when a day in my week was changed and I had it all set. But, know I can be positive about it and who knows, maybe God set that day aside for me to do something different. Time will tell. It is all depends on my perspective on things. As I am teaching my kids, in turn God is using it to open my eyes to areas in my life that need work. Sometimes, it is as simple as acting on a thought to send cards to people. I yielded to that last week and it didn't take but 5 minutes to write and address 3 cards to some sweet ladies. I could have been selfish and said "I don't have time to do that", but I did it anyway. My goal is to become less selfish and for my kids to see this in me and for them to grow up giving to others and Jesus. Afterall, we have the greatest example in Jesus, who died on the cross, for us. He gave up His life, everything, for us! Amazing love - how can it be that you would die for me?

Life Interruptions

2010-11-09T13:01:00.003-05:00

For the past couple months I have attended a bible study called Jonah - Navigating a Life Interrupted, by Priscilla Shirer, whom I love!! When we think of Jonah, we immediately think of him being swallowed by a huge fish and spending 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of that fish. He repents and obeys God. But, there is so much more to this story and how it applies to us in our everyday lives. Jonah did not want to go to the city of Nineveh, a people whom he greatly disliked, and did not want God's mercy to befall on. So, he tried to run......but you can't run from God! I have tried it, have you? This study has helped bring up areas in my life that I am failing miserably in, I know what my weakness are, yet I tend to justify them often. I like to put the blame on something else or find a reason for my shortcomings and why I don't do the right thing in God's eyes. I love God and want to serve Him, but too many times, I want to do it my way and on my terms. Wrong answer, Kandi! I know what and who are the Ninevehs in my life, and it can be an actual place, a person(s), or a task, etc. Just the mention of this Nineveh can send us into an emotional tailspin and we would rather not go, just stay home. And just like Jonah, we can find reasons to keep us home. Sometimes it doesn't make sense what the Lord may be asking me to do, but I don't see the big picture and may never know this side of eternity. But, if I cannot do the "little" things, how can I expect to grow in my walk with Jesus and that He will use me for more ministry opportunities. I have to move away from anger, bitterness, resentment, self-righteousness, and move toward, grace, mercy, compassion, and love. I admit, I am very good at those things. My melancholy temperament can easily take a situation or a person and it becomes bitter, resentment, and so on. I have gotten better with this the past few yrs, but still struggle and things always come up, and always will, because Satan knows my weaknesses and how to use them against me. But, Thank You Lord I can call on You! Jeremiah 1:5 tells us "Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you." It doesn't take God by surprise how I am and how I react to things or people, this is just further evidence of how much I need Him, He doesn't need me, I need Him!! God is Sovereign, God is my Deliverer, God is merciful, God is Righteous! I am nothing without Him. I cannot overcome my weakness, my sinful nature, my fleshly desires, without His saving grace and mercy. I am learning to obey and to look at a LIFE INTERRUPTED BY A HOLY GOD IS A PRIVILEGE. A lot of times, I am looking for the "big" plans in my life. But, you know what, I am realizing that the small, simple acts of obeying are the big plans in my life. I am called to love others, everyone, even if I don't necessarily like that person, I must love them. How hard is that? Well, for me, sometimes even just smiling or talking to someone whom is my Nineveh, is hard. Just like Jonah, I can come up with every justification in the book not to do it. I simply fail! God has been working on me, and I find the more I try to do better in an area of my life, Satan tries even harder to make me fall. I have to then acknowledge that sin, accept God's discipline, ask for forgiveness, and act on God's directions. Easier said than done, when my pride kicks in. 1 John 1:9 says "If we freely admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins and (continuously) cleanse us from all unrighteousness, The Amplified Bible. God has put Himself in you to equip you and empower you to do what you cannot do. I want to have Divine Intervention, not Life Interrupted. It is based on my perspective and how I respond to God leading me and calling me to obey. Our interruptions are all different - it can be an unexpected pregnancy, a troubled marriage, a financial decision and so on......we would like to avoid them, but they will come. The question is.....how will we respond? I pray we yield to God. I am quick to get upset when things don't go my way or how I imagined something to work out on my time table. I can look back at my past now, and see that God's plan is better and everything worked the way it should have. Did I ever imagine myself as a stay at home mom? No way! But, thankfully I followed God's plan in this area of my life and have been extremely blessed. I need to start asking myself the question God asked Jonah in Jonah 4:4 "Doest thou well to be angry?" So much more can be wrote on this and I could go on, but motherhood calls, as I must go pick up my little man from preschool. 2 Timothy 2:21 "So if someone cleanses himself of such behavior, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart, useful fro the Master, prepared for every good work"

Chillin' at home

2010-11-04T16:53:00.002-04:00

No school on election day, so Keira decides to have "school" at home. She dressed Brock up and then read to him. He looked so cute in his outfit! I had to take some pics. Keira did not want her picture taken in her gown.....imagine that.

Oct 31, 2010

2010-11-04T16:47:00.002-04:00

Brock wore his Lightning McQueen costume to church, he would not be still for pictures. After church, Mamaw and I took Keira to the Disney Princess on Ice Show. It was a great show and she enjoyed it. We had a wonderful afternoon! Brock went to out church's annual Kidz Fest with daddy. We joined them later and the kids had a blast playing on the inflatables and being with their friends. We have been blessed to become good freinds with such wonderful Christian families.

Zoo

2010-11-04T16:35:00.002-04:00

Keira and Brock were on Fall Break one week, so we had some fun. We met a friend at Jumpity Jump one day, met the friend the next day at Dollywood. Brandon took off 3 days from work, since he finished a deadline and we took the kids to the zoo. It was a beautiful day and we had a good time! We enjoyed the weekend of family time!!

Kindergarten Open House

2010-10-22T17:27:00.002-04:00

We attended open house at Keira's school one evening. Daddy was not able to go with us, as he was finishing up a deadline. Keira was thrilled to show us what she does at school and each center. Brock found some toys to play with, so he was very happy. I am glad that she loves school and is doing so well. Her first report card came home last week and I still can't believe my girl in is school full-time. So proud of her!!

Circus

2010-10-13T13:18:00.002-04:00

My aunt gave us some tickets to the Shriner's Circus and Keira decided she did not want to go because of the clowns. Brock was excited about going. So, Grammie and I took him. He got a Lightning McQueen costume that afternoon and wore it the rest of the day, so cute! He wore it 3 days in a row! Brock rode on the elephant and I thought he would want me to ride, but he never asked, so I was okay with that. We had a great evening!

Corn Maze

2010-10-05T20:31:00.002-04:00

What a great time we had at the Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch. It was a beautiful evening and daddy got to leave work early to go with us. Papaw and Mamaw came also and we had such fun! The kids loved the mega bouncing pillow, the slides, the little barrel train ride, and the hayride to the patch. Keira had a difficult time choosing a pumpkin as she looked for the "perfect" one. Brock, on the other hand, easy find for him. They couldn't wait to decorate outside with their findings.

I know one thing, if daddy had not gone in the maze with the kids and I, we wouldn't have made it out in 35-40 minutes. He could look at the aerial shot of the maze and decide which path to take after we had answered the questions correctly to get us going down the right path. I was so lost looking at the map!!

First Hiking adventure

2010-09-19T15:19:00.002-04:00

Saturday morning we headed to a local state park and took the kids on their first hike. We did one mile and they both loved it. We hope to continue this and get the kids doing more outside activites and this is something we can do the rest of our lives together, Lord willing. We hiked to a waterfall and the kids enjoyed exploring nature. Then, we had a picnic and played in the stream of rocks and water. Due to a lack of rain, not much water was present, but it didn't matter, the kids loved it anyway. Brock is the type of kids that if any, I mean any amount of water is around, he finds a way to get in it. Needless to say, both kids had to change clothes before getting in the vehicle. What a beautiful morning God gave us on this day.

2010-09-19T15:15:00.001-04:00

We are enjoying this beautiful cooler weather. Brock loves his briefs and a lot of the time just wants to wear them when we are at home. Too cute!!

Keira flashing her big smile!!

I wanna know how it feels.....

2010-09-14T10:58:00.002-04:00

I wanna know how it feels to have - PEACE. Peace, a word we use, a word we know, a word the entire universe wants to experience. But, we will not have or know true peace until Jesus comes to take us home or until He comes back. What a day that will be!! I find myself longing for it more and more. The past few weeks my flesh has been raging war with me, more so than usual, or so it seems. Maybe I have just noticed it more, I don't know. Everyday, every minute, every second, if we think about it, we are battling. It feels like Satan is just flat out attacking me lately. I have had thoughts of "Am I truly saved?" "I say I am saved , but yet I say and do things that are so sinful", or "Look at how selfish I am, I should do more for others" and the questions go on. Thanks Satan for these thoughts, b/c you made me dwell on them and start doubting my salvation. I literally would be on the couch late at night, kids are asleep, hubby still at work, and begin to have anxiety and my mind would race. So, I would start answering the questions and Satan would still push me, throwing crazy thoughts out at me. I could feel my body start stressing, my breathing would get funny and I would feel tightness in my chest. I couldn't take it anymore, and I cried out to my Lord for Peace!!! I know, that I know, that I know that I am saved. As I look over my life I see where I have come and how Jesus has guided me. Because I sure would not be where I am in my life, if it wasn't for Jesus. I would not have the desire to read the Bible everyday and feel like a piece of me is missing when I don't read it. I would not want to pray or believe that God hears me when I pray if I wasn't saved. I would not have the urge to please God, but rather people if I wasn't saved. List goes on......... So, thank you Satan for pushing me closer to Jesus and to lean on Him and not myself. Does this mean my battle is over, far from it. I am constantly learning how weak I am and how much I need my Jesus every day, every minute. I fail miserably. I don't measure up and never will, but thank you God for your mercy and grace, because I could never work enough for it and never will have to try. My flesh fights so hard for me to lose and so many times I give in. The world tells us it is okay to do this or that and to say this or that. I stumble everyday. I am talking the little things in life, or what we perceive to be "little", but sin is sin. It can be as "little" as not smiling at someone or acknowleding them, and I am so guilty of this. I can make excuses and do, but so guilty. My flesh wins often in this area. Then I have to ask for God's help and help me. Satan tells us to get revenge or we will show them up, we won't talk to them, that will really hurt them. Satan sits back and watches and laughs. Who is the one hurt in this? The other person? Nope. I have even let someone taking me off their friend list on facebook bother me and my first thought is "I will show them, next time I see them" then I think how silly is that. They are not "friends", they are more like aquaintances. These minor disturbances can lead to bigger problems in life. I could list many, many , many minor things in life but won't. You get the idea. None of this matters in the big picture. None of it. So, then our focus needs to stay on Jesus and heavenly matters, not earthly. I realized to this morning that it has taken me almost 33 yrs to have this contentment in my life. I am content with my life and so thankful to Jesus for all He has blessed me with. I have finally come to a place in my life that I can honestly say that I don't care what others think of me or how I am living. I only have to answer to God, not man. People can talk and will talk about others and what they are doing or not doing. I use to feel like I had to keep up with other families. I went through a phase that I felt like we needed to move to a bigger home in "the" neighborhood, possibly even in another city. Deep down, I knew this was wrong. Brandon was ready to move to another city, all I had to say was "let's go." Which makes sense for us, since he works in Knoxville and he claims I am in Knoxville at least 4 days a week. HA!! But, a part of me felt like we needed the big house with all the amenities. But, I laid it all down and that soon passed. When you put your prioritites in place, none of the material stuff matters. Did I want to go back to work just to have a bigger house? No way!! Like the hubby said, "would it matter if we had a 10,000 sq. ft house?, we would all still be in the same room on top of each other." You know what, he is right. I like having my family close by and wouldn't trade those moments. I am content with our life and the choices we make, as hard as it is at times. I have learned I don't have to have an LV bag or Gucci or whatever the latest trend is in fashion. I admit I like having this stuff and occasionally the hubby spoils me with things, but you know what, after awhile the newness and luster wears off, and then it is on to the next trend. I find myself wearing the same things over and over and you know, it is okay. Aren't you glad Jesus is not a trend and that He nevers gets old or out of date or out of style. I sure am. When you let Jesus be your contentment, all the things of this world take on a different meaning. I will end my post with this song I heard while running this morning : Sometimes I get weary from this life that I live It seems that peace is something I'll never find I try to lighten my load when all that I've got to show is seven hundred things on my mind Well, I'm seeing visions of a crystal clear river where sin's forgotten without a trace More than I've ever dreamed my eyes long to see the look of love on my Savior's face I want to know how it feels To make my way down the streets of gold I want to know how it feels To have a talk with the saints of old I want to know what it's like To rest my feet by the River of Life I've heard of heaven and I know that it's real I want to know how it feels I want to know how it feels!!!!!!!

School Update

2010-09-11T09:39:00.002-04:00

Keira is loving kindergarten, even if it is making her tired. But, mommy likes the early bedtimes. Even though she has made new friends, one of the highlights of her days, is playing with her best friend Alyssa, who is in first grade at recess every day. She always talks about this. She still thinks boys are "yucky and gross", but when she was paired with Bo, I have known his mom most of my life, she didn't seem to think he was yucky. She really liked him :) Keira loves her calss, loves PE, music, and pretty much all the specialty subject classes. She eats in the cafeteria every now and then, but takes her lunch moajority of the time. I use to put notes in her lunchbox until she asked me to stop doing that. Guess it embarrased her! The other afternoon I went to our parent-teacher meeting and was surprised at how well she did on testing. I didn't know what I was expecting, but it just kinda shocked me a little how well she did. I know she is bright, but just didn't expect that. Thank goodness she seems to be taking after daddy in her academics. I did good in school, but daddy is the brain in this family. I was told she likes to talk, which was very surprising. Now, if it had been Brock, and I was told this by his teacher, no shock. But, her talking is not a big problem or disruption, and the teacher can "give her a look" as she told me and she gets the message. Guess she is use to the "look" she gets from me. Overall, a very good report and I pray she continues to do well. We are pleased with her teacher, who is on top of everything, and keeps us posted as parents to classroom happenings and what the kids are learning. I like that she is firm with the kids and they have structure and routines. I am a firm believer that kids thrive on structure and routines. Kids want and need this in their lives for many reasons. It is still hard for me some days to grasp that Keira is really in school every day, all day. I miss her so much and Brock really misses her. I am glad she loves school and so glad we decided to go ahead and send her this year.

My little man is loving preschool. He can't wait to go to "his school" as he says. I love that he likes it. Keira cried for 3 months when I left her at preschool, Brock only 2 days. What a differnece and makes it much easier on me. I had a hard time leaving Keira crying, even though I knew she would be fine. Brock is so funny and the teachers fill me in on the things he says at school. At the beginning of school, we would ask who he played with and he always answered "by myself", it was kinda sad. But, he has made friends now and talks about them more. He especially has taken notice of a girl named Hannah. He tells me he chases her on the playground. He loves his teachers and they are wonderful. Brock's lunch is terrible, just junk food, but that is all he will eat. I keep waiting for him to grow out of this stage and eat a variety of food, but he will not. He doesn't even like mac and cheese, potatoes, barely any chicken, pizza, and the list goes on........

We have been so blessed this school year and I look forward to watching my kids grow and learn new things this year.

2010-08-28T07:38:00.002-04:00

This summer we were so blessed to be able to have Aunt Teresa be Keira's swim instructor. She was kind enough to give up her evening once a week to teach Keira. Brock didn't want any part of lessons, he was happy in his arm bands jumping in and swimming around. Funny thing is how much he learned just listening and watching. Occasionally, he would say "I want to do lessons", but not often. Also, 2 boys came and joined the class and I noticed how this helped Keira just by giving her a push to do her best. Maybe she will have my competitive side :)

Keira is swimming well and is all over the place. Amazing what a few lessons have done. She has learned several different strokes, water strokes, and had so much fun in the process. I am glad Teresa could do this and that my kids got one on one time with her.

Brock's First Day of Preschool

2010-08-18T17:10:00.002-04:00

My little man went to preschool on Aug 10, he will go on Tuesday and Thursdays. This will be very good for him. He is really attached to me and only wants me to do things for him. This can be good and bad, depending on the situation. I take him inside and he grabs my leg and will not let go. He starts crying and thankfully already having been through this with Keira, I knew what I had to do. Just leave. As hard as it is, you have to or you make it worse on all parties involved. As I walked outside by the window, I could hear him crying and saying "I want mommy" Broke my heart, I wanted to go get him, but knew better. So, I got in the car and left. The teachers later told me he only cried for a couple minutes and was fine. Relief! The next time he went, no tears. He did tell me "I will miss you" So sweet.....

He has been 3 times now and really looks forward to going. Happy mom about that. I can't believe my youngest is at this stage already. Have a great time Brock!! Mommy loves you so, so , much!!!

My girl begins Kindergarten

2010-08-18T16:53:00.002-04:00

On August 9, Daddy and I went with Keira to her first day of Kindergarten. We began in the gym with an orientation and next went to her classroom. I felt like I was signing my child away with all the paperwork. I struggled for sometime about sending her to school or not, especially with her birthday at the end of July. But, in all honesty I was being selfish, deep down I knew she was ready in all areas. Mommy just wanted to hold on for another year and not let go. I am proud of her and how far she has come the past year. She has went from a 3 yr old who cried for 3 months when I dropped her off at preschool 2 days a week and would not get on stage to perform at the end of the year to a child who loves school and happily and willingly performs on stages now. I would not have thought this a yr or so ago. My heart just beams when I see how she has "grown" up. She is still quiet and shy around new people, but she comes by it honest. I am the same way.

Keira has been going to school half a day now for almost 2 weeks. Beginning Aug. 24 all the kids stay the entire day. Seems like so much for these little guys, I know she will be tired. She loves her teacher and I got cracked up this week. I was in the kitchen and she set up "school" in the living room. I came in to see what was going on. She had put on a dress with a white jacket over it and flip-flops. Well, it struck me that she had dressed just like her teacher. I remembered seeing the teacher dressed like this as I waited in the car riders line. So funny! She had 4 students and asked me to be their mom and to pick up 2 half a day and the others stayed all day. Love her!!

Keira is taking her lunch to school, but did eat last Friday, it was pizza day. I wish I could walk her in everday, but I can't. I understand why, but the mommy in me just wants to make sure she gets to the right place. I know she is fine and all, but I just like having that assurance.

Time flies and I am so thankful that the Lord and my hubby have allowed me to stay at home with her the past 5 yrs. I wouldn't trade all the moments, good and bad, for the time I have spent with her. Keira, I hope you have a wonderful year and I look forward to our journey in Kindergarten together. Mommy loves you more than all the stars in the sky!!

Keira's 5th birthday party

2010-07-26T12:04:00.002-04:00

Keira will be 5 on July 27th. We had a spa party at our house this past sat. 12 girls came and helped us celebrate by having their hair, make-up, nails, and jewelry done. We had a blast!! All the girls are so sweet and they seemed to enjoy all the pampering. Keira was so thrilled with everything. I can't say enough about my family that helped out, without them, this party wouldn't have been possible. They gave up a Saturday to come and help us out. We are so blessed!! So many good memories of this party and I hope Keira never forgets it.

The cake was beautiful. Holly Woodlee made it and it tasted wondeful also. She is awesome!!

Outside Fun

2010-07-26T12:01:00.002-04:00

I have found some of the best times we have as a family are simply playing together outside. The kids love being out and we have played baseball, frisbee, and other games. Of course, it has been so hot out, we often stay in the a/c unless we are in water.

Music Camp

2010-07-26T11:52:00.002-04:00

Keira was able to attend a music theater camp at Morrison Hill Church one week in July. On Friday evening, they performed "God's Top Ten", which was wonderful. I think 26 kids attended camp and they all did a great job! Keira loves music and singing and she was super excited about performing. We got tickled during the show because she was so loud. I was so proud seeing her on stage, quite a change in the past year.

Brock was good until the last couple songs and he got restless. Above, you see him messing up Mamaw's hair. I just sat back and laughed watching this take place. Brandon was filming and I was taking pictures in the back. Can't wait to see what little man will do on stage.

swimming

2010-07-13T16:48:00.002-04:00

Cousins waiting on Brock to jump, the kids had such a great day swimming and playing with their cousins.

95 degrees outside and Brock decides he wants to wear this outfit.

July 4th 2010

2010-07-07T08:39:00.002-04:00

What a great 4th of July!! We began the day at church and had a great sermon about our nation and Christian foundation. Yes, our nation was founded on Christianity, as bad as so many people want to omit this from the history books. After church, we went to Uncle Wade and Aunt Pam's to swim, boat, jet ski, etc. It was a great day of fun, food, and family. The kids had a blast. We stayed out till 10:30, which is very late for my kids. Doesn't happen often, but they loved it!! Hope everyone had a great 4th!!

2010-07-07T08:34:00.002-04:00

A friendly game of volleyball

Grammie playing with the kids

Cousins taking a ride

Sat. we spent most of the day at my uncle and aunt's house having fun. The kids played in the water, took a boat ride, and just enjoyed family time. As soon as we got in the car, they both went to sleep.

Fun at home

2010-07-07T08:25:00.002-04:00

We always do a few small fireworks at home. The kids LOVE smoke bombs for some reason, not me so much. They want to run through the smoke and love the different colors. We got fireworks the weekend before the 4th and did fireworks every night leading up to July 4th, except one night.

Eli's Birthday

2010-06-29T10:24:00.002-04:00

We celebrated our cousin, Eli, 10th birthday last Friday evening. We went to their house for a cookout and fun. Can't beleive he is 10 now and that his sister Madison will be 12 in August. They are such beautiful kids. I brought the kids bathing suits, but forgot lifejackets and their arm bands. So, daddy and I said they couldn't swim. But, Papaw Woody took them down to the lake and look what happens. He rolled up his shorts and joined them. Hard to tell them they couldn't swim when all the other kids are in.

The kids played a football game and had such a good time. Brock thought he was as big as the others. He loved it!!

So cute!!!

Our new additon

2010-06-24T08:56:00.002-04:00

I took the kids to Aunt She-She to pick out a kitten, she has 3 left. One we couldn't get it, the one Keira wanted, similar to Payday coloring, because it has long hair. Brandon is allergic to cats, so we have to get short hair. Funny thing is, Lucky, my 11 yr old, has never bothered him. So, Keira , poor Brock never gets much say, picked this one. She named her Allison, she is completely adoring her 16 yr old cousin right now. She pretends her name is Allison and will name her stuffed animals this, etc.

We bring the cat home and it stays under the couch most of the day. After church we all tried to shower it with affection, even daddy. He is actually the one who coaxed it out. However, his allergies did act up. Brock has sneezed a few times, so I hope this is minor.

The cat slept in the bed with me and was relaxed. Lucky is not happy at all, but she will survive. However, this kitten seems wild compared to Payday, and now we have to make sure she does not scratch our new leather furniture, daddy already said he would kill it over that.

Fun in the water

2010-06-23T09:49:00.002-04:00

Grammie got the kids a pool with a little slide on it this summer. They absolutely love it! One of the best things they could have gotten to have fun with. It is the perfect size for both of them and I don't have to worry about them if I was in a regular size pool alone with them. They both like to jump to us at the pool and so forth, so this helps me out. Low maintenance also, which is a big deal to me. Again, the simple things are the most fun for us!

Quick update

2010-06-14T09:52:00.002-04:00

It has been a month since I have blogged, time flies. Well, my computer went down on me and I thought I had lost all my pictures, I am talking close to 4,000!! I had to send it off and thankfully they were saved. I have since backed them all up, will not make this mistake again. My pictures are my treasures, so to speak. I wish I could capture every moment of my family, I have this deep thought that I will forget what we did or what my babies looked like as they grow up.

Since my last post, we have been to Destin, been going to Dollywood (we purchased season passes this yr), been going to playdates which the kids love, and just having fun. We have had friends and their kids come to our house on the weekends, what a great time with awesome people. We plan on doing this more often!!

We have enjoyed the lake with family and hope to be out on the lake on the weekends with them more this yr.

We also have lost Payday. The picture above is the last pic I took of him. He has been gone for 2 weeks now and I finally put up his food dish. I just knew he would turn up. He was such a great cat and let the kids do whatever they wanted to him. We miss him! We are not sure if someone picked him up, as he liked to patrol the neighboorhood and who knows how far he went. Or, we think another animal got him, he had no fear and would take on anything. I am trying to talk the hubby into another kitten, but the answer is "No", well at least until Lucky, my cat, dies. Brandon cannot stand my cat and wants her gone, she is 11 and I will not part with her. I keep hoping he will come around, like he did with Payday. :)

Last day of preschool

2010-05-13T17:23:00.002-04:00

Today was Keira's last day of preschool and I can hardly fathom this. This really doesn't seem possible that this little stage in her life has come and gone so quickly. We registered for kindergarten last week and boy, I am not ready for this. I was so selfish that I had decided to keep her home one more year and did not fully decide to send her own till a couple weeks before signing up. She will not turn 5 until the end of July, so I could have very well kept her home. But, she is ready. Her preschool teachers have been excellent and we will miss them dearly. Brock will be attending this fall, so he will get the same excellent teaching and care.

I have already asked myself "What will I do 2 days a week w/o my kids?" this seems so strange to me, not to have at least one with me everyday. I know I will find something to do with my time. :)

Beginning of Mother's Day

2010-05-12T15:37:00.003-04:00

Mother's Day morning began with my hubby getting breakfast for us and the kids giving me cards and flowers. I always love seeing their little faces when they give me gifts. They are just precious. Brock always asks "Do you love it?"

Time to get ready for church, we had missed sunday school due to sleeping late, and when it came time to get shoes on for Keira, the bad attitude began. She is having some issues with fashion and we don't see eye to eye on this subject. She needed to wear white shoes with her dress and of course, she wanted to wear black. I said "no" and then it started, the "these shoes hurt." Whatever! She just wore them to school the other day and never once complained. I told her to go find another pair of white shoes and she did, and once again complained. I know they do not hurt as they are a little big on her. Mommy and Daddy won this battle. I did not even put her hair up as I was so frustrated with her. Sunday mornings are some of our toughest mornings and I honestly think it stems from Satan. As a Christian, he wants us to fail, wants us to get so upset that we say "Just forget church this morning" and I have uttered these words several mornings.

After church, we went to Papaw and Mamaw Leffew. We attempted to take pictures and Keira again had a terrible attitude. I seem to never have any mother's day pictures with my kids. Brock did get his picture made with the grandparents, and then I was over it. She can easily ruin the moment with her attitude. With Keira we really have to keep her in line. Majority of the time she is sweet and obeys. But, in those moments that she thinks she is the boss and can be so rude and disrespectful, we have to bring her back down a notch. I know this will pay off as she gets older as we have seen progress in her the past year.

So, one day I can show her the above picture and we will laugh (hopefully). Happy Mother's Day to me!!

End of Mother's Day

2010-05-12T15:28:00.002-04:00

The beautiful view from my dad and step-mom's home. We ended our day by visiting with them and finally had a happy girl.

Brock loves the fountains at their house.

Beautiful girl!

Awana Awards Night

2010-05-12T15:15:00.002-04:00

On May 5, we had Awana awards night at church. Keira completed her second year of Cubbies and finished her book. She did so well memorizing Scripture and I began putting verses on the white board in our kitchen, so both kids will have a verse each week to memorize. I think this is very important to begin this early as you can so they can begin to have God's Word in their hearts and minds and that these verses stay with them. Keira amazes me at her recall and how she can memorize something so quickly. Seems like it takes me a lot longer to memorize things, maybe it is age or that I don't feel like I use enough brain power since I don't work outside the home anymore :)

I had the opportunity to be the Puggles teacher. This is the first yr we had this class in Awanas. It is for 2 yr olds. What an experience, and my biggest challenge was keeping them still long enough to do a 5 minute lesson. HA!! Brock and Kiersten were my only 2 Puggles, but 2 was plenty to start out with. Next yr, the number will increase. Puggles are full of energy, full of love, and full of fun! We spent half our lessons on creation and learned the simple facts of God made animals, God made trees, God made sun, etc and God made me!

Ballet I Spring Recital

2010-05-04T15:18:00.002-04:00

On May 1 and 2, Keira performed in the Spring Dance Recital. She is in ballet and tap, so had 2 dance routines to learn. I am so proud of my little girl, because almost exactly a year ago she would not even get on stage for her pre-school program. For her to get on stage in a theater and do this is a huge accomplishment. She has come out of her shell since last yr. I have been amazed at her in this process. To watch her on stage was just beyond words for me. She was awesome! Grinning from ear to ear and loving every minute of it. My little girl...........

I got to watch the entire show on sat. evening and worked backstage on sunday afternoon. So glad I got to see the show, it was great! From ballet to hip-hop to modern dance, incredible. We have some talent here in our little county. I also admire the women who do the adult classes, some of which have kids in the classes Keira is in. I wish I had the ability to dance like them and perform like they do, but I will stay in the audience and just be a spectator.

Keira was thrilled that she had so many family members come watch her. Big thanks to all the grandparents, her great-grandfather, Aunt Pam, Aunt Teresa, Madison and Eli, Uncla Jared, and of course daddy and Brock. She is a very blessed little girl.

Tap I

2010-05-04T15:02:00.005-04:00

Keira and Ms. Hannah

I absolutely loved Tap I costumes. Keira has done well in tap and loves her teacher. The teacher is very energetic and outgoing, she makes the kids laugh and makes it fun for them.

This was my first experience doing a dance recital, never in my life did I picture myself at something like this, meaning having a child in it and working backstage. I have seen a few dance shows of my family members. You really don't get an appreciation for all the hard work and time put into a show until you have been backstage among the chaos. It is crazy at times, people yelling for this and that, trying to get the dancers changed into the next costumes, making sure you have the correct color tights, correct hair piece in, making sure it is secure, making sure shoes are right, hair and make-up done just right, and the list could go on. One of the more difficult challenges with the younger dancers, age 3-5, is keeping them occupied until the end of the show for the final bows. Can seem like an eternity at this point. It was an experience for me and I am so thankful for all the other mothers who took the time to answer questions and help me as needed. I couldn't have survived without them. For us newcomers, it is overwhelming and we appreciated the veterans helping us. Without them, it would have been like sending the sheep out among the wolves. Thank you ladies for everything!!!

Quick little trip

2010-04-20T18:36:00.003-04:00

After tax season is finished, we take 2-3 days and have some family time doing something new. Last yr we went to Chattanooga for Thomas the Train and also the TN Aquarium. This yr, since we purchased season passes to Dollywood/Splash Country, we decided to go to Dollywood one day and then the following day go to the Ripley's Aquarium, the kids wanted to go b/c they have seen the penguins being advertised. I figured we better go ahead and get daddy to dollywood and get his photo id, due to it not being his favorite place to go, and since he probably will not make it back to the park until Christmas time :) I did try and talk him into going back w/o kids and getting our friends to go and actually ride the adult rides and do things we want to do all day. He did agree with that idea!

We stayed at the Christmas Inn in Pigeon Forge, love this place! Mamaw and I stayed with the kids back in Nov. while the men went to Indy. We highly recommend this place if you want to try something new. I love all the Christmas decorations and such! We also stayed at the RiverStone Resort last fall also (condos), and liked this place also. Behind the Dixie Stampede on Dollywood Lane. Just thought I would throw that info out for anyone interested.

Brandon and I decided we like the TN Aquarium better, but Ripley's is good also. Just so much more in Chattanooga to see. But, the kids had a great time and that is all that mattered. Brock wanted to know why the penguins didn't do "tricks", he highly expected them to be doing something other than standing and just looking at us. Keira had told him they would be skating on ice and such, so I guess he got his hopes up. Silly kids!

Spring Fun

2010-04-18T18:17:00.001-04:00

We have enjoyed the beautiful weather and being outside. The kids love it!! Makes me wish it was this way yr round.

Storytime

2010-04-18T18:14:00.001-04:00

One evening before Papaw and Mamaw went home, the kids wanted them to read books to them. Sweet moments!

Upward Soccer

2010-04-12T13:54:00.002-04:00

Keira played AYSO soccer last fall and we thought we would give Upward a try this spring. So far, so good! I like that only 4 play at a time and no goalie and they have to kick outside the blue arc at the goal. I love that they do devotionals with the kids every practice and at games. Keira really loves soccer the best of the sports she has tried so far. We decided not to play t-ball this yr, and would have went back to the church league she played in last yr. They only played 6-8 games, can't remember now, and it was free. Plus, soccer and t-ball games are at the same time on Sat. mornings, so......

I am thankful she doesn't want to do t-ball yet, I really don't want to be at a ballfield almost every night of the week and then on saturdays at various times. I have had people tell me I should sign her up, no thanks. Plus, she likes soccer better than t-ball, I guess b/c you get more action. She can play when she wants to, I am not forcing her to sign-up for anything. Next yr, Brock will be able to play, so we will probably go to the church league again and have them play at the same times and same field, if they want to play. Brock wants to play everything so bad already and it is hard to explain to him why he can't play yet. He thinks he is as big as the other kids.

Keira told me on the way home after the soccer game, that a girl on her team told her she had to be 7 yrs old, not 4, b/c she was tall. Her teammate is 6 and Keira is just a little bit taller than her, so in her thinking, Keira must be older than her. No one has ever said anything to Keira before, so I guess this must have got her to thinking about her height.

Tea Party

2010-03-22T23:54:00.002-04:00

Keira went to her first tea party/birthday party this past Saturday. What a beautiful day it was!! The girls got to decorate hats, decorate cupcakes, and then sat down at a beautiful table. Blueberry tea was served along with cookies, cheese sandwiches, and p&b sanwiches. The girls had a great time. It was fun to watch them.

Brock got to go spend time with Papaw Woody as I did not want to take him to the tea party. I can only imagine what that would have been like. He was thrilled to go over to Papaw's and play. I think it is good for him to get one-on-one time with the grandparents as Keira seems to "hog" or "control" the times when they are both with them. Brandon picked him up and they got some father-son time, which they always enjoy.

After the tea party we went home and changed clothes and went to another birthday party. Keira had a blast at this also. They had 2 inflatables and she just enjoyed playing outside with all her friends. She wasn't ready to leave when I told her it was time.

We were all tired after a super busy day, we started out with ballet and tap from 9-10 first thing sat. morning and it was non-stop till bedtime. Needless to say, everyone was tired. What a good time with friends today!!

Celebrations

2010-03-07T17:34:00.002-05:00

Daddy's birthday was on Feb. 22 but we celebrated on the 21st after church with a birthday dinner at Papaw and Mamaw's. Due to tax season and daddy working 7 days a week, it doesn't leave time for much of anything as a family. The kids picked out 2 gifts for him. Brock could not wait and kept telling him that he bought him a video game, so we ended up giving him his gift early. Keira waited until the birthday dinner to give him hers. Keira was dressed in her cheerleading outfit and decided Brock should wear it, which he happily did. Oh my, if only daddy was home on this day, his son would not have been int his outfit! LOL!!!

On March 2, my grandfather turned 88!! The Duncan's gathered the Sunday before his birthday and celebrated. Don't you love how my daughter smiles, she cannot simply smile.

Brock receiving his first gun from Papaw Ronnie!! Brock cannot wait to go hunting, he talks often about it. He even asks me if I am going, and my answer is always " I don't think so." I cannot shoot Bambi's mom or dad. He picked out a hunting game for Brandon and he loves to play it with him on the PS3. We see deer out and about and he always says he has to tell papaw and daddy so they can go hunt them. Love him!!

Granny Mullins

2010-02-27T14:21:00.002-05:00

My Granny Mullins went home to be with the Lord at 1 a.m. on Feb. 27th, 2010. She hung in as long as the Lord let her. We thought Wed. was it, but it wasn't time. She was 88 yrs old. My grandmother was a hard-working woman all her life. She lived in KY, where she met and married my grandfather, who passed away 16-17 yrs ago, from cancer. He was a coalminer and they were very poor. They worked very hard and saw many hardships, but made it through. My granny gave birth to 12 children, yes 12, which I can't imagine. The baby died a few days after he was born. 10 children are still living and I think she has 28 grandchildren and 14 great-grandhildren, if we counted right. :) My granny was so tired and her body gave out. I am so thankful that she is at home with our Saviour and been reunited with loved ones, especially her baby. I have never heard her talk about this my entire life. My granny loved to go to the auction and every Sat. evening we all knew where she was to be found. Better not get her seat, you might get in trouble. She loved yard sales too. Granny tended her garden and supplied her family with homegrown food. She was also a wonderful sewer and loved to do crafts and was a quilter. I still have my Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls she made me when I was young. I thought of this as I held her hand one final time Friday afternoon. Hands that raised 11 children, hands that worked non-stop, hands that fed her family, hands that made her apple turnovers that she loved, hands that quilted with love (quilts I will keep the rest of my life), hands that held each grandchild, hands that held each great-grandchild, hands that just did it all. Know those same hands are praising God!! Even though my Granny did not show much emotion, I know she loved each child and all her gandchildren more than she showed and more than some thought. I know she was proud of me and all my accomplishments in this life, even if she told Brandon she wasn't happy about us getting married. We have always laughed about that. Or at my baby shower, she said she "only wanted 2 kids" , we all just laughed, cause that is the way she was. Obviously, God's plan was for them to have 12. Maybe she said these kinds of things because she had been through so much heartache in her life and saw so much heartache in her own children's life. I don't know. I will never know the answers this side of eternity. I am so glad she is at peace now. Peace isn't always easy to come by in a rather large family. I am blessed to have had her for 32 yrs and will remember the good times and those special moments when she hugged me and said "I love you" and all those times she use to slip me money when I was in college, thinking my mom didn't know.

Wilderness Resort

2010-02-15T20:19:00.002-05:00

The kids and I went with Papaw and Mamaw to the waterpark. Poor daddy had to work and missed out on all the fun. Once tax season is over, we will do something with daddy. We had a wonderful time and the kids loved it!! Good times!!

Snow Days!!

2010-02-01T08:49:00.003-05:00

Brock probably thinking about last time he sled! Story below...

Ready to hit Mamaw with a snowball

I took these pics on Sunday, should have took some on Saturday, but we were just to busy playing. Sunday, some of the snow was already gone, but the kids still got to sled.

Friday as soon as the snow began to fall, they wanted to go outside, so we did. Brandon was home saturday, thankfully his office closed for the day. We had a wonderful weekend!!

Sat. the snow was more of an icy/sludge mix. We go outside to sled. Brandon went around back to start a fire in the pit and the kids and I go to the neighbors yard, the hill is steeper. Brock is the first to sled and he takes off like a bullet. Not joking! I am at the bottom close to our driveway to catch him, Papaw and Mamaw Leffew have just come down the road in the truck and witness the entire scene, so picture this: I notice he is going rather fast and I prepare myself to get him, I am ready, just catch him, I tell myself. Here he comes, a little bullet on a saucer, hands are in position, but..............he shoots right through my hands bewtween my legs and is heading for the driveway, which leads to the road, which leads to another slope, and another slope, to the woods. Oh No!! I turn, in all my gear and run, you know how it feels like you can't move in the big boots and layers, well that is how I felt anyways. It all happenes so fast! I think he slowed a little when he hit the driveway which enabled me to catch up to him. Thank you Lord for protecting him!! He is screaming, I am laughing now. You can only imagine how the grandparents felt watching this.......thankfully, we all can laugh now and it was a funny scene. Brandon missed the entire epsiode.

Keira's turn! I don't want to make the same mistake as before, so I basically tackled her, which lead to my knee connecting with her forehead/side of her head. So, she is crying hard. Needless to say, she doesn't want me to catch her again. I wonder if any of our neighbors saw all this. LOL!! I know Mr. Pryor did, he was on his steps shoveling snow.

After all this, Daddy caught them. Papaw and Daddy shoveled our entire driveway and then we went inside. We ended up going to Turkey Creek and ate at Pei Wei (love this place) and shopped a little.

Sunday, we had another wonderful day at home, eating, watching basketball, playing outside and we all pitched in to help clear the yard of the tress we had cut the other day. Well, the kids didn't last long.

Happy

2010-01-24T20:28:00.002-05:00

Brock and Keira love each other so much! Brock looks up to his big sister and like any good little brother at this stage, "obeys" his sister's commands. It can be anything from when they are "cooking" to having him go fetch items for her. They love playing with each other and role play quite often. It is so comical at times to sit back and listen to their conversations. May they always be best friends!

The princess of the Leffew house.

My cutie pie! He is such a joy and so happy majority of the time.

Keira 2nd game

2010-01-17T21:08:00.002-05:00

I absolutely love watching Keira play. When it is her turn to dribble down the court, you can see all over her face how much she enjoys doing this. Her dribbling has improved the past few weeks and she wants to practice at home.

Playing some defense!

Always a tough decision, who to pass the ball too?

Before her game yesterday, we talked about rebounding the ball, and she told us "I don't like to rebound, I might get hurt" She listens and follows exactly what her coaches tell her to do and tries hard. I am so proud of her. In her last game, she kept playing with her hair and was skipping down the court. It was funny!!

Christmas 2009

2010-01-02T09:39:00.002-05:00

We had a wonderful Christmas this year. We got to visit with all of our families and had so much fun each place we went. Even though we stay on the go and run from place to place, we wouldn't trade it for anything. We love our family time and cherish the moments together. Of course, we remember the whole reason for the season, Jesus, and I hope you and your family did also. But, we know Jesus is the reason for every season and everything, not just at Christmas.

Christmas with the Ray's

2010-01-02T09:28:00.002-05:00

Aunt Pam getting some love!!

Uncle Wade gets clean up duty!

more Christmas

2010-01-02T09:21:00.002-05:00

Mamaw Peggy getting her picture book

Papaw Woody and the kids

Christmas cont.

2010-01-02T09:11:00.002-05:00

Big Papaw and Brock. Eli thought he was getting a box of diapers. I had wrapped his gift in this box and then another box. It was funny watching him try and hide the box.

Madison and Eli playing with Brock.

Aunt Teresa with Keira. She started a tradition with the kids years ago that when they arrived, they go find her and she lets them open 1 gift before we eat, etc.